I am confused

I judge what I like or don't like or indifferent immediately upon the 1st interaction. However, there's the 4th category of confusion.

People and things I used to like or hate, and now they have slipped into a neither love nor hate nor indifference stage. They confuse me.

So there:

What do you gain out of doing such things? It was too deliberate it makes me sick.
Then again maybe I questioned you out of jealousy on my part, because I certainly don't have the intellectual capacity nor linguistic talent, and not the slightest inclination to do such things ever so often.
I am so confused because of how different some people can be from others, in a way that's totally incomprehensible to either parties I guess.
Don't try so hard...because I'm quite sure I'm not the only one who thinks that way...and I think while opening up new paths, you are blocking the old ones.We can't reach you and vice versa.

and this:

I am so disappointed in you. I hope you remember that at the end of the day the only thing you can't get rid of is your bloodline. If one day you were in the same predicament as she is, as we are, what would you expect us to do? You know what? I think we will help you LIKE WE ALWAYS DO IF WE CAN. Shame on you. I am so disappointed in you and I want myself to remember this incident out of the many many which I have chosen to forget because I am no longer the same person I was. I realised that sometimes you just need to remind yourself of the anger and humiliation to make your own heart turn into stone in order not to get hurt easily again.