Nil Illegitimo Carborundum

I...

2011-06-24T20:45:00.001+08:00

seems to have lost the ability/motivation to blog anymore.

Things have been happening, of course, but I just don't feel like writing them down.

Too many things, perhaps, and not that many happy ones amongst them.

恐慌

2011-03-27T01:40:00.002+08:00

于是我也像许多人一样，开始恐慌。

恐慌未来一个月，恐慌未来三个月，恐慌未来一年，恐慌未来一辈子。

差别在于，我掩饰得还真不错。

我原本以为自己能以一个过来人的身份帮助朋友，殊不知时机一旦错过了，现在的我又拿什么去劝人家？

我只会把我的恐慌好好地藏起来，有时候连自己都骗倒。

其实我并不怕啊，

有什么好怕啊？

不要怕啊，

桥到船头自然直啊。

有些人恐怕一辈子也不知道自己要的是什么，

我又凭什么觉得自己会例外？

既然不知道，

那有什么就拿什么吧。

2010 Summary

2011-02-02T22:56:00.000+08:00

Books Read In 2010

Crazy Hair
Dracula
Green Lantern: Blackest Night
Helen Mirren - In the frame : my life in words and pictures
I Shall Wear Midnight: A Tiffany Aching Adventure
Johannes Cabal the Necromancer
King Lear
King Rat
Kraken: An Anatomy
The Great Gatsby
The Imperfectionists
Unseen Academicals: A Discworld Novel
Waiting for Godot
《萧蔷 = Stephanie》
东野圭吾《幻夜》
九把刀《上课不要看小说》
九把刀《不是尽力是一定要做到》
九把刀《人生就是不停的战斗》
九把刀《功夫》
九把刀《大哥大》
九把刀《妈，亲一下》
九把刀《少林寺第八铜人》
九把刀《拼命去死》
九把刀《杀手，流离寻岸的花》
九把刀《绿色的马》
侯文咏《我的天才梦》
几米《几米故事的开始》
几米《星空》
古龙《陆小凤》
小S 《心机母女》
朱亮亮《追虹》
李碧华《吃猫的男人》
李碧华《流星雨解毒片》
李碧华《赤狐花猫眼》
李碧华《青蛇》
林夕《原来你非不快乐：得你一人没发觉》
柴智屏《机会只有3秒钟：如何做个超级电视人》.
梅艳芳《现代女人心》
王绍玺《窃贼史》
陆德阳《流氓史》
陶子《我爱故我在》
高罗佩《大唐狄公案》
龍應台《大江大海一九四九》
龍應台《目送》

Shows Watched in 2010

縱貫線 Super Band 世界巡迴演唱會
Chicago The Musical
Power Women 珍爱女人演唱会

New Year

2011-01-07T12:03:00.000+08:00

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

Neil Gaiman

Me me me

2010-12-22T12:25:00.005+08:00

I had an idea for a short story that day. I hope I will take the time to remember it and actually write it down.
I realise I've stopped writing for very long. Not writing as in producing words, but creating stories.

I am happy that my long time classmate will remain my schoolmate for some time longer. I am happy that my friends all seem to be okay.

I am glad that my baby niece seems to turn out well at least for now.

I am reading 武侠小说 again, and I have learnt to compare. I believe one must have tried the best if not at least the good ones in every field, before one have the ability to compare. One should not criticise or praise too much if one have not even known of the alternative or worse, one have not even actually experienced the actual thing in question before judging.

The happiest thing this year seems to be that I have single-handedly learnt and managed to play old games that I used to play as a kid, and actually finished them. Not like when I was young and not in control.

I hope I save enough money for a short graduation trip, because I don't think I have anyone to borrow from. I really want to and need to have a grad trip.

One will have less to talk about his/her life because one is stagnant. I believe one must always learn new things. Be it through reading, eating, watching, listening, or simply living.

What King Lear Taught Me

2010-09-20T21:14:00.004+08:00

I've been doing some thinking about my EN1101E lessons on King Lear last semester.
One thing that I managed to catch was about tragedy and comedy.
The lecturer once had a student who gave a wonderful definition regarding these two words:
A tragedy is a lack of comedy, and a comedy is the absence of tragedy.
For example, if, at the end, Cordelia did managed to survive and her breath moved the feather under her nose, then the tragedy will be turned into a comedy immediately by that one little scene. Lear would not have died of a broken heart, everything would eventually turn out okay.
However, it did not happen, and hence the lack of a comedy, the chance of making everything okay, was not present. Therefore, King Lear is a tragedy.

I think this is a perfect explanation as to why I hate some works immensely.
There are many stories and movies etc that could've been a comedy, but the author had to make it into a tragedy, refusing to give a happy outcome instead of a sad one.
Just a few drops of ink and a much beloved character of mine would have had a change of fate and stay alive for once.
It could have been a comedy. It could have turned out okay. It was so close.
I guess it is the "so close" part that irks me most of the time. More often than not, the tragic twist is not essential, it would not make the work into a better story, it was there for the sake of being there, to end a sub-character conveniently.
Why is it that sub-characters have to suffer such fate, even if they, to me, is as good, as real and perhaps even more interesting than the main characters?
Well, why did Jiraiya had to die?
Why did Ace had to die?
Why did Hughes had to die?
Why, for God's sake, did 段正淳 and all his lovers had to die?
If they have to die, why can't they resurrect like Gandalf?
An author is like God. They control the fates of their characters and sometimes they mercilessly refuse to choose comedy over tragedy.
Hold this idea, bring it to real life, and even though I still hate it when such things happen, I will try to accept it nevertheless.
Because you just can't reason with fate.
-------------------------------------------------------
The second thing I brought back from the lesson is much simpler.
The lecturer said that there was once a student who pointed out that Cordelia and the Fool was never in the same scene, and went on to think about many hidden message by Shakespeare regarding this point.
However, the lecturer had an answer to this question, and it was painfully simple.
In the Victorian theatres where Shakespearean works were first played out, the actors had to take up more than one characters sometimes.
In King Lear, it so happens that the actor playing Cordelia was the same guy playing the Fool, and hence, they could not be in the same scene.
Sometimes, we tend to be overly smart and think far too much.
Sometimes, the answer is painfully simple.

Let's Sweets

2010-09-03T23:50:00.003+08:00

There are disappointing people who couldn't be bothered....

and then there are those who are my friends.

明星的坠落

2010-07-26T10:52:00.005+08:00

最近发生的一些零零碎碎的小事和闲谈，像是早有预谋似的一下下地敲打我潜意识中一个模糊的念头：
我们这个时代，已经没有明星了啊。
明星是什么？应该不只是喧哗取宠，或转眼即逝的小明星吧。
明星中的佼佼者，是梅艳芳，是张国荣，是罗文，是Beyond，是四大天王这一类的巨星。
浑然天成，和一般人甚至于其他艺人有距离的一群人。
他们是只要亮出名字就不禁令人赞叹，是人人随口就能列出数样歌、影、视代表作的人。
是属于一个已经过去而不能再来的美好时代的一群特别的人，只手造就出一代人的集体回忆，虽然非亲非故但无人不知的一些人。

为什么这一代没有明星了？
除了因为大明星有的已经离开了之外，造就明星的那些人也已不在，例如黃霑。
江郎才尽者也有，例如徐克，例如王晶。
造就明星的人，也包括支持明星的人，也就是观众或粉丝。
他们的口味变了，同样的人不知怎么就是不再受到新一代的欢迎，而老一辈的人只能够缅怀，不再追星。
所以有年轻美眉不知道郑中基是歌手，不认识王杰，而这些人即使在巅峰时期也不及超级巨星的一半吧。
总有一天，人们不会记得梅艳芳，不会记得四大天王，不认识罗大佑，没听过刘家昌，不知道谁是甄妮，也不知道什么叫做用丹田唱歌。
可以理直气壮地说演唱会当然是去看舞蹈和服装啊！要听歌难道CD没有吗？
所以这一代的人不晓得什么叫做会唱歌会演戏。他们没听过没看过。
只有曾经经历过的人才知道什么叫做曾经沧海难为水。
盲从。他们不知道原来听现场应该比听CD更感动，因为他们的偶像唱不来。
肤浅。他们不知道原来演技不一定是抛头颅洒热血，因为这些都得奖啊！
观众、编剧、演员，都不知道什么叫好的剧本，只知道要煽情，要耸动，要符合潮流。
他们不知道，从前的潮流，是被明星创造而非服从的。

很无奈的，政策竟然也是杀死明星的帮凶。
禁方言？所以这一代不明白楚留香有什么了不起，上海滩究竟讲什么？
保护本土戏剧？所以港剧在巅峰时期在海外销声匿迹，这一代的人无可选择地miss了真正的明星作品。
偶像剧，本土剧，哪些可以流传20年？没有吧。
金庸小说改编80次，为什么被缅怀称赞的仍是20年前的俏黄蓉翁美玲？
有了限制，就少了明星。

所以我认为在默默捍卫明星这个夕阳工业的人好难得。
所以刘德华会在言承旭自我介绍为F4时，说：“你好，我是四大天王。”
所以多年前的大明星纷纷复出办演唱会，而且场场爆满。
市场需求啊，像是要说，歌，应该是这么唱的吧。
然而唱着的仍是老歌，听的人仍是当年的人，大家只不过一起缅怀，互相取暖，然后眼睁睁看着明星坠落。

我是搭着最后一班车，有幸见识过一些明星的美好，而因此曾经沧海的人，我为此深深感激从小的耳濡目染。
尽管如此，我还是时时感叹无可奈何地miss掉了许多巨星的巅峰期，我甚至还没有出世呢。

那些从来没见过真正明星的人，多年之后，回忆的是什么？
听过真正的歌吗？
看过真正的戏吗？
知道什么是明星吗？

婚姻是愛情的墳墓

2010-07-14T12:27:00.000+08:00

偷自张小娴blog:

婚姻是愛情的墳墓，可是，每個人都想進去八卦一下自己是怎麼死的，結果真的死了。

婚姻是愛情的墳墓，也是愛情的催命符，否則，為什麼有些男人一聽到女人想結婚就落跑？

婚姻是愛情的墳墓．再婚的人都是從墳墓裡爬出來的活跳屍。

愛情讓我們甘心情願跟所愛的人一起跳進墳墓裡去，然後互相指責對方把自己推下來。

無論有沒有婚姻，有些愛情也是會住進墳墓裡去的。然而，愛情的墳墓終究是比婚姻的墳墓美麗些，沒有贍養費，也沒有撫養權。

婚姻是愛情的墳墓，既然如此，還是等到年紀再老一些才進去比較划算。

婚姻是愛情的墳墓，愛情是婚姻的犧牲品。

婚姻是愛情的墳墓，墳墓是婚姻對愛情的恩將仇報。
-----
So fun to read :)

Haiz

2010-07-09T22:22:00.001+08:00

Feeling so helpless, it seems all the luck is slipping away from me.
Wanted more than once to pinch myself and realise it's but a bad bad dream.

Responsibilities

2010-07-02T11:17:00.003+08:00

Imagine:
You are tired of living.
You go to a train station and stand in front of the platform.
You see the message above.

I guess the determination to jump would increase significantly, no?
It's sad enough if I am actually desperate enough to want to commit suicide, and you actually try to use the reason of "responsibility" to stop me from doing it.
It hints that a life at stake is not the main reason for trying to dissuade me from jumping, it's the "responsiblity", i.e. the trouble and hassle I would cause if I had jumped.
"To save everyone from such inconveniences, why don't you not jump?"
Humanity is at a real low if in a life and death situation, the best one could come up with is "act responsibly".
I guess the reason many people actually thought of commiting suicide would be to escape from such suffocating social responsibilities.
We're brought up to be "responsible", to our parents, to our teachers, to society. Therefore, we are used to try not to be a nuisance to others, do not inconvenience others, take care of ourselves, be responsible.
So one fine day we walk up to the platform and look at the signboard.
We realise, sadly, the only way to be responsible to ourselves is to end it all.

求不得之苦

2010-06-28T11:47:00.004+08:00

有时候觉得自己很可怜。
相信是人都难免会这样。
为什么一些无法控制的因素，会使自己一而再地否定最真实的自己的梦想，一再错过自己心中真正的渴望？
当然也可以很任性地不顾后果地随心所欲，但是现实并不允许一个人的自由，很多时候，我们所做的并不可以只是想到自己而已，而多年的训练/习惯/心软/懂事也已经把人薰陶成一个长期把自己摆在其他人事物之后，那个默默牺牲掉一些原则的人。
想为自己做一些事，但是不可以。因为很清楚身边的人也不全是为自己想，偶尔他们也曾经为你着想，既然人人都是为大家想，那你又怎么可以只为自己想？
所以我们就日复一日地被一张挣脱不了的网缠住，甚至渐渐以为这个就是我们自己的一部分，人人联系在一起，没有机会展翅高飞。
就算可以飞，也必定会有些东西被留在网中，带不走了。飞到一半，难道就不能保证不会回头？
逗留、飞走、回头都是自己的真实思想性格一部分。
怪不了人，所以觉得自己可怜。

Post Secret

2010-06-20T22:33:00.001+08:00

There is something there that just speaks to me so deeply every single week.
Not a single experience in this world is unique.
No misery is suffered alone.

陶子

2010-05-30T17:28:00.003+08:00

最近看《超级星光大道》，赫然发现陶子的眼角出现鱼尾纹了。
当年在《娱乐新闻》古灵精怪的小陶子，竟然也老了。
尽管思维一样敏捷，口齿一样伶俐，外在的改变却骗不了人。
当年看得津津有味的小观众，不知道在别人眼中又变成什么样子了。

珍爱女人 Power Women

2010-05-24T10:30:00.005+08:00

因为再不写，可能就写不出来了，那就实在对不起当时浓浓的感动。

齐豫，印象真的不深。当然知道和齐秦是姐弟，当然知道《橄榄树》，也知道佛曲和福音，但就是不熟悉。
听了以后，还是不敢说熟悉，但终究见识到什么叫做天籁，亲耳听一听来自天上那空灵的声音。
外表衣着如此华丽，声音却完全脱俗，反差很大，却又很有意思。
当然，能听到原唱者唱《橄榄树》，真是幸福。
与其是温暖的春天，难道齐豫不会更适合一点点萧瑟、一点点距离感的秋天吗？

潘越云，同样不熟，知道她的一些歌，根本是愁得化不开。她的成名曲如《天天天蓝》当晚竟然是第一次听，《桂花巷》和《纯情青春梦》更是有听没有懂，但是却非常欣赏她的演唱。
这就是实力吧，原来她已经52岁了，当晚的台风，每一个姿态，可以说是当晚最有个人风格和架势的，整晚下来，已经忘记她之前许许多多的新闻。
噢，还有《野百合也有春天》。最初是听林志炫唱，后来纵贯线也唱，听潘越云唱，又是一番滋味。
当然还有很悲的《我是不是你最疼爱的人》，听完之后的几天这首歌的旋律依然时时出现在脑海。
有一点像冬天，可是也像经历一番寒彻骨之后开始盛开的春。

黄小琥，算很熟悉吧，虽然只是因为她广为人知的曲子实在不多，灭绝师太本人耶，真是太酷了，和《星光大道》中的形象一模一样。虽然某些玩笑听不懂，虽然宁愿她认真地唱《但是又何耐》、《家后》，但是单凭一首《没那么简单》其实就很能够满足我了，听了简直感动得想哭，更何况还有《不只是朋友》。
也许她就是来证明，认真唱无人能敌，搞搞气氛其实也很好。
我觉得她很冬天。就算是逗观众、唱热歌，还是让人觉得冷冷的，有一点拽，一点不屑，很有性格。

万芳，天啊，《宝岛一村》里操着一口台湾国语、善良、以卖包养活一家的那个媳妇吗？
感性得不得了，唱的就算是不熟悉的歌，她一出现所制造出来的氛围是能够让人脱离现实，陷入歌曲中的。
有人认为太过感性本地人可能会吃不消，我觉得很好啊。
叫大家一起唱《新不了情》，然后原唱唱给我们听，这是不枉此行。
连突如其来的口白都实在很令人感动，万芳带来的惊喜连连。
听《爱情限时批》好开心，《为何梦见他》和《祝我幸福》也满满幻想与感动。
万芳明明就是夏天，活泼热情的可以。

《梦田》最先听到是陈淑桦唱的，后来S.H.E翻唱，原来齐豫和潘越云才是原唱，正是失敬。
听原唱唱歌，其幸福是很难向别人形容的。
她们竟然还唱Dancing Queen，我是哪辈子修来的福呢？有一点surreal，整晚都很满足，很enjoy.
再来观众也很投入，一起唱《新不了情》固然很感动，但看过Eason和纵贯线两次，只有在这场“珍爱女人”见识到观众喊encore的热情，不需要乐队给cue，完全自动自发，才感受到看现场的参与感。
相信看过这场演唱会的人，没有人是不投入的。

多日以后，我还是不时不自觉地哼唱这些歌曲，停不下来，这就是看演唱会的魅力吗？

Chicago

2010-05-13T14:33:00.002+08:00

I love going to musicals and concerts, even though I didn't really manage to go to such activities as much.
I feel it's a good thing to be able to compare the musical and the movie, and I feel I do like both versions of Chicago in different ways.
The movie version was almost perfect, adding a certain grandness and exquisiteness to the show.
The musical, however, is charming because if the 'live' elements, somehow its much funnier with the audience laughing together at some little details, and the little 'awww' when Amos is onstage.
The movie was of course much more detailed and I can see every little movement of the dance numbers, especially that for Billy Flynn's opening number whereby they formed into a train, which wasn't there in the musical.
One disappointing thing about the musical was that of Mary Sunshine, which I wanted to see the original version badly because it's very different from the movie, but not much was being portrayed, and the drama when it was revealed it's actually a guy was not very well done.
I still hope more musicals can come to Singapore to give me the chance to compare =(

Sense of Fulfilment

2010-04-22T19:48:00.003+08:00

I've finally finished 天晴传, a classic RPG game I once played more than 10 years ago but were unable to finish.
The quality of the picture above is NOT the colour it was when I was playing it, something happened while I took the SS.
However, this time round I downloaded the game online and it jammed pretty frequently, It took me lot of patience to replay many parts in order to get to the ending which came many years late.
To be honest, this game lacks the nice graphics and interesting storyline found in more recent games, but not being able to finish it had always left a hole in my mind waiting to be fulfilled. Now it's finally done.
Interestingly I still remembered some parts of the game so well it's like it was just yesterday when I last played it, though it's been well over a decade ago.
My childhood is full of such trivial stuff which leaves a deep sense of loss within me, and I'm glad I'm able to now complete some of them, somehow it makes a difference.

Messenger

2010-04-19T13:16:00.002+08:00

I thought of you today, out of the blue.
I went to your wall and realised there are others who thought of you too, and they chose to do so by leaving a message.
I did not leave a message, because I never did when you were still alive.
I did not leave a message, because I'm sure you won't be able to read them anyway.
If there is indeed a messenger to convey my message to you, perhaps I won't know what to say as well, sadly.
We were never close, but I still thought of you today.
What does it show?

头皮发麻

2010-03-26T14:49:00.001+08:00

想不到到了这个年纪，看漫画竟然还会看的热血沸腾、头皮发麻。

What have I been up to?

2010-03-15T21:14:00.003+08:00

My opinion is that since this happens to be my blog, what I post is entirely of my choice. What I see deep within these seemingly copied-n-pasted excerpts and videos are entirely personal, which makes them perfectly suitable to be posted on a personal blog. I am such a common and boring person, sometimes I wonder if I have any readers at all, so it was never an aim to attract any. Who keeps a diary and then reads it out to everyone?

Anyways, since I've been so busy with MapleStory lately, I guess the only way to make the best out of it is to do a mini project about it. It's only a 10% project, and must be related to narration, so I'll keep a blog about it, hopefully can link it up soon.

I realise I should really be starting on my various essays and projects right now, I thought I was ready to give up on honors if it turns out to be not worth the time and effort, but I realise the fact is, taking it for granted that I would do honors for the past 2 years makes me rather scared of the idea of starting real working life in a few months time, provided I managed to find a job. So, I guess I should buck up and improve my CAPS a little, so that my honors year will be less stressful and I can slack it through as usual.

I realise I really am a very biased student. I like this particular lecturer very much, because I did very well in 2 of his modules before. I wonder is it because I like him therefore I make the extra effort therefore I do well, or is it because I do well therefore I like him. To be truthful I didn't have to make a LOT of extra effort in order to at least appear to be coping well, and I enjoy all his lessons very much. He's one of the very few lecturers where I walk out feeling I've learnt something, which is nice, considering I am paying so much as a student to apparently learn knowledge from these well paid lecturers.

I must admit I am not a very good team player. I try to be nice and cooperative and all, but truth is I hope to put in as little effort as I can, because I don't like working with people I don't know well. Guess I shouldn't put this in my future resume =X

Me vs BOSS

2010-03-03T11:29:00.001+08:00

I can either post a story on one of my earliest childhood memory, or post this theme song from the BOSS, titled "My Best of My Life" by Superfly, which I really like.

Guess who won?

Lord Vetinari in Unseen Academicals

2010-02-05T10:39:00.012+08:00

Technically, the city of Ankh-Morpork is a Tyranny, which is not always the same thing as a monarchy, and in fact even the post of Tyrant has been somewhat redefined by the incumbent, Lord Vetinari, as the only form of democracy that works. Everyone is entitled to vote, unless disqualified by reason of age or not being Vetinari.

And yet it does work. This has annoyed a number of people who feel, somehow, that it should not, and who want a monarch instead, thus replacing a man who has achieved his position by cunning, a deep understanding of the realities of the human psyche, breathtaking diplomacy, a certain prowess with the stiletto dagger, and, all agree, a mind like a finely balanced circular saw, with a man who has got there by being born.
-----------------------
Emboldened, he added,'I should point out, though, that under UU law, Archchancellor, a ban doesn't matter. Wizards are not supposed to take notice of such a ban. We are not subject to mundane law.'

'Of course. But nevertheless it is generally convenient to acknowledge the civil power,' said Ridcully, speaking like a man choosing his words with such care that he was metaphorically taking some of them outside to look at them more closely in daylight.

The wizards nodded. What they had heard was:'Vetinari may have his little foibles, but he's the sanest man we've had on the throne in centuries, he leaves us alone, and you never know what he's got up his sleeve.' You couldn't argue with that.
-----------------------
'He'll suspect something, you know,' said the Chair of Indefinite Studies.

'He suspects everything. That is why he is still Patrician.'
-----------------------
Lord Vetinari's personal secretary stepped into the Oblong Office with barely a disturbance in the air. His lordship glanced up. 'Ah, Drumknott. I think I shall have to write to the Times again. I am certain that one down, six across and nine down appeared in that same combination three months ago. On a Friday, I believe.' He dropped the crossword page on the desk with a look of disdain. 'So much for a Free Press.'

'Well done, my lord. The Archchancellor has just entered the palace.'

Vetinari smiled. 'He must have looked at the calendar at last. Thank goodness they have Ponder Stibbons. Show him straight in after the customary wait.'

Five minutes later, Mustrum Ridcully was ushered in.

'Archchancellor! To what urgent matter do I owe this visit? Our usual meeting is not until the day after tomorrow, I believe.'

'Er, yes,' said Ridcully. As he sat down, a very large sherry was placed in front of him.*(*There are those who say that sherry should not be drunk early in the morning. They are wrong.) 'Well, Havelock, the fact of the matter is-'
'But it is in fact quite providential that you have arrived just now,' Vetinari went on, ignoring him,'because a problem has arisen on which I would like your advice.'

'Oh?Really?'

'Yes, indeed. It concerns this wretched game called foot-the-ball. . .'

'It does?'

The glass, now in Ridcully's hand, trembled not a fraction. He'd held his job for a long time, right back to the days when a wizard who blinked died.

'One has to move with the times, of course,' said the Patrician, shaking his head.

'We tend not to, over the road,' said Ridcully. 'It only encourages them.'

'People do not understand the limits of tyranny,' said Vetinari, as if talking to himself. 'They think that because I can do what I like I can do what I like. A moment's though reveals, of course, that this cannot be so.'

'Oh, it is the same with magic,' said the Archchancellor. 'If you flash spells around like there's no tomorrow, there's a good chance that there won't be.'

'In short,' Vetinari continued, still talking to the air, 'I am intending to give my blessings to the game of football, in the hope that its excesses can be more carefully controlled.'

'Well, it worked with the Thieves' Guild,' Ridcully observed, amazed at his own calmness. 'If there has to be crime, then it should be organized, I think that's what you said.'

'Exactly. I have to admit to the view that all exercise for any purpose other than bodily health, the defense of the realm and the proper actions of the bowels is barbaric.'

'Really? What about agriculture?'

'Defense of the realm against starvation. But I see no point in people just. . .running about. Did you catch your Megapode, by the way?'

How the hells does he do it? Ridcully wondered. I mean, how? Aloud, he said,'Indeed we did, but surely you are not suggesting that we were merely "running about"?'

'Of course not. All three exceptions apply. Tradition is at least as important as bowels, if not quite so useful. And, indeed, the Poor Boy's Fun has some remarkable traditions of its own, which some might find it worthwhile exploring. Let me be frank, Mustrum. I cannot enforce a mere personal dislike against public pressure. Well, I can, strictly speaking, but not without going to ridiculous and indeed tyrannical lengths. Over a game? I think not. So. . .as things stand, we find teams of burly men pushing and shoving and kicking and biting in the faint hope, it seems to me, of propelling some wretched object at some distant goal. I have no problem with them trying to kill one another, which has little in the way of a downside, but it has now become so popular once more that property is being damaged, and that cannot be tolerated. There have been comments in the Times. No, what the wise man cannot change he must channel.'

'And how do you intend to do that?'

'By giving the job to you. Unseen Univerisity has always had a fine sporting tradition.'

'"Had" is the right word,' sigh Ridcully. 'In my day we were so. . .so relentlessly physical. But if I was to so much as an egg and spoon race these days they'd use the spoon to eat the egg.'

'Alas, I did not know your day was over, Mustrum.' said Lord Vetinari, with a smile.

The room, never normally noisy, sank into deeper silence.

'Now look here-'Ridcully began.

'This afternoon I shall be speaking to the editor of the Times,' said Vetinari, gently surfing his voice over that of the wizard with all the skill of a born commitee manipulator,'who is, as we know, a very civic-minded person. I'm sure he will welcome the fact that I am asking the university to tame the demon foot-the-ball,and that you have, after careful thought, agreed to the task.'

I don't have to do this, Ridcully thought carefully. On the other hand, since it is what I want, and thereby don't have to ask for, this may be unwise. Damn! This is so like him!

'You would not object if we raise our own team?' he managed.

'Indeed, I positively demand that you do so. But no magic, Mustrum. I must make that clear. Magic is not sporting, unless you are playing against other wizards, of course.'

'Oh, I am a very sporting man, Havelock.'

'Capital! How is the Dean setting in at Brazeneck, by the way?'

If it had been anyone else asking, Ridcully thought, that would simply be a polite enquiry. But this is Vetinari, isn't it. . .

'I've been too busy to find out,' he said loftily,'but I'm sure he will be fine when he finds his feet.' Or manages to see them without a mirror, he added to himself.

'I'm sure you must be pleased to see your old friend and colleague making his way in the world,'said Vetinari, innocently. 'And so is Pseudopolis itself, of course. I must say, I admire the sturdy burghers of the city for embarking on their noble experiment in this. . .this democracy,' he went on. 'It is always good to see it attempted again. And sometimes amusing too.'

'There is something to be said for it, you know,' grunted Ridcully.

'Yes I believe you practise it at the university,' said the Patrician, with a little smile. 'However, on the matter of football we are in accord. Capital. I will tell Mister De Worde what you are doing. I'm sure that the keen players of foot-the-ball will be interested, when someone explains the longer words to them. Well done. Do try the sherry. I am told it is highly palatable,'
-----------------------
Vetinari stood up, a signal that, in theory at least, the business of the meeting was concluded, and strolled over to a polished stone slab, set in a square wooden table. 'On a different note, Mustrum . . . How is your young visitor?'

'My visit- Oh, you mean the . . . uh . . .'

'That's right.' Vetinari smiled at the slab as if sharing a joke with it. ' The, as you put it, Uh.'

'I note the sarcasm. As a wizard, I must tell you that words have power.'

'As a politician, I must tell you I already know. How is he getting along? Concerned minds would like to know.'

Ridcully glanced at the carved men on the playing slab as if they were listening to him. In a roundabout way, they probably were. Certainly it was well known now that the hands that guided half the pieces lived in a big castle in Uberwald, and were female and belonged to a lady who was mostly rumour.

'Smeems says he keeps to himself. He says he thinks the boy is cunning.'

'Oh, good.' said Vetinari, still seeming to find something totally engrossing in the layout of playing pieces.

'Good?'

'We need cunning people in Ankh-Morpork. We have a Street of Cunning Artificers, do we not?'

'Well, yes, but-'

'Ah, then it is context that has power,' said Vetinari, turning around with a look of unmasked delight. 'Did I say that I am a politician? Cunning: artful, sly, deceptive, shrewd, astute, cute, on the ball and, indeed, arch. A word for any praise and any prejudice. Cunning . . . is a cunning word.'

'You don't think that this . . . experiment of yours might be a step too far?' said Ridcully.

'People said that about the vampires, did they not? It's alleged that they have no proper language, but I am told he speaks several languages fluently.'

'Smeems did say he talked la-di-da,' Ridcully admitted.

'Mustrum, compared to Natchbull Smeems, trolls speak la-di-da.'

'The . . . boy was brought up by a priest of some sort, I know that,' said Ridcully. 'But what will he becomes when he grows up?'

'By the sound of him, a professor of linguistics.'

'You know what I mean, Havelock.'

'Possibly, although I wonder if you do. But he is, I suggest, unlikely to become a ravening horde all by himself.'

Ridcully sighed. He glanced towards the game again, and Vetinari noticed.

'Look at them. Ranks, files,' he said, waving a hand over the little stone figures,'locked in everlasting conflict at the whim of the player. They fight, they fall, and they cannot turn back because the whip drives them on, and all they know is whips, kill or be killed. Darkness in front of them, darkness behind them, darkness and whips in their heads. But what if you could take one out of this game, get him before the whips do, take him to a place without whips - what might he become? One creature. One singular being. Would you deny them that chance?'

'You had three men hanged last week,' said Ridcully, without quite understanding why.

'They had their chances. They used them to kill, and worse. All we get is a chance. We don't get a benison. He was chained to an anvil for seven years. He should get his chance, don't you think?'

Suddenly Vetinari was smiling again.

'Let us not get sombre, however. I look forward to your ushering in a new era of lively, healthy activity in the best sporting tradition. Indeed, tradition will be your friend here, I am sure. Please don't let me trespass any further on your time.

Ridcully drained the sherry. That at least was palatable.
-----------------------
It's a short walk from the palace to Unseen University; positions of power like to keep an eye on one another.
-----------------------
Lady Margolotta was behind all that. She was the person who, by diplomacy, and probably more direct means, had got things moving again in Uberwald, and she had some sort of . . . relationship with Vetinari. Everyone knew it, and that was all everyone knew. A dot dot dot relationship. One of those. And nobody had been able to join up the dots.

She had been to the city on diplomatic visits, and not even the well-practised dowagers of Ankh-Morpork had been able to detect a whisper of anything other than a businesslike amiability and international cooperations between the two of them.

And he played endless and complex games with her, via the clacks system, and apart from that, that was, well, that . . . until now.

And she'd sent him this Nutt to keep safe. Who knew why, apart from them? Politics, probably.

顿悟

2010-02-03T19:37:00.000+08:00

自找的。
凭什么？
何苦来哉？
有时候，真的应该好好记仇，狠下心来报复报复。

美丽人

2010-01-29T18:35:00.002+08:00

天海佑希/Cate Blanchett/邓萃雯/Christine Baranski/杨紫琼/Helen Mirren/林志玲/Meryl Streep/江角真纪子/Pierce Brosnan/张可颐/George Clooney/刘松仁/Liv Tyler/郑少秋/Havelock Vetinari/汪明荃/Richard Gere/莫文蔚/Halle Berry/福山雅治/Johnny Depp

太少，知道的还太少。

Not good at all.

2010-01-24T23:21:00.002+08:00

Today is the day when something bad that have been accumulating for some time starts to stick out its ugly head.
Why is it that I have to stand such stress and unhappiness? It doesn't mean that just because I don't have tension headaches or health issues that I don't face stress. It doesn't mean that just because I chose to shut up when faced with problems then there isn't any problems. I do not believe that the louder the noise a person makes the more attention that person deserves or the more serious the problem is.
This is all wrong.
Where is the most basic respect among human beings, not to say family members?
I do not like the way this is going.
I am going to withdraw.

打开新的视野

2010-01-04T10:27:00.002+08:00

原来从一部戏认识一个人，再回头认识这个人的其他作品，才发现原来一直以来是自己视而不见，明明就在眼前的资讯，当时读了为什么就没有留下印象呢？还是说，每一个偶然的邂逅都有其时间，注定是要回头慢慢去认识?

认识了这么一个出色的演员，开拓了全新的视野，然后发现原来很多存在脑中某个角落，看起来毫无关系的咨询竟然会因为这个人而联系在一起，成了非常有趣、有价值的知识。

这已经不是第一次发生了，却每每让我惊奇不已。

也许这意味着我认识、知道的是这么的贫乏，世界上还有这么这么多的人值得深入认识啊。

2009-2010

2010-01-01T16:39:00.001+08:00

Instead of setting new year resolutions, I've decided to be practical this time and look back at the things I am glad to have done or am grateful for during the previous year.

I watched the last 30 minutes of BOSS on 31/12/09 and it is the best TV series I've watched last year, surpassing even Galileo.

I am glad to have watched The Departures, UP and Suspect X, the most memorable movies for 2009.

I have finished 2 wonderful series of books - Agatha Christie's Poirot and Terry Patchett's Discworld.

I managed to somehow keep in touch with some friends.

I am a proud auntie of a 2 week old baby girl.

I've gone back to playing MapleStory a lot.

I think I managed to catch a glimpse of my future, or at least began to think about it.

I got to know many interesting persons and knowledge.

I think I am closer to judging people more accurately.

I have watched, on average, at least 1 movie per month and read more than 2 books per week.

I have new books, new movies, new shows to look forward to.

Next semester is a 5-day week, because I chose it to be, because I believe it may be fun for a change.

The savings account I set up did manage to come in handy.

I am still alive, and does not seek death.

Books/Movies 2009

2010-01-01T16:38:00.000+08:00

Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot

* 01)The Mysterious Affair At Styles
* 02) Murder On The Links
* 03) Poirot Investigates
* 04)The Murder of Roger Ackroyd
* 05)The Big Four
* 06) Black Coffee
* 07) The Mystery of the Blue Train
* 08) Peril at End House
* 09) Lord Edgware Dies
* 10) Murder on the Orient Express
* 11) Three Act Tragedy
* 12) Death In The Clouds
* 13) The ABC Murders
* 14) Murder in Mesopotamia
* 15) Cards On The Table
* 16) Dumb Witness
* 17) Death on the Nile
* 18) Murder in the Mews
* 19) Appointment with Death
* 20) Hercule Poirot's Christmas
* 21) The Regatta Mystery
* 22) Sad Cypress 丝柏的哀歌
* 23) One, Two, Buckle My Shoes
* 24) Evil Under the Sun
* 25) Five Little Pigs
* 26) The Hollow
* 27) The Labours of Hercules
* 28) Taken at the Flood
* 29) The Witness For the Prosecution and Other Stories
* 30) Three Blind Mice and Other Stories
* 31) The Underdog and Other Stories
* 32) Mrs McGinty's Dead
* 33) After The Funeral
* 35) Dead Man's Folly
* 36) Cat Among The Pigeons
* 37) The Adventure of the Christmas Pudding
* 38) Double Sin and Other Stories
* 40) Third Girl
* 41) Halloween Party
* 42) Elephants Can Remember
* 43) Poirot's Early Cases
* 44) Curtain

Terry Pratchett's Discworld

* 01) The Colour of Magic
* 02) The Light Fantastic
* 03) Equal Rites
* 04) Mort
* 05) Sourcery
* 06) Wyrd Sisters
* 07) Pyramids
* 08) Guards! Guards!
* 09) Eric
* 10) Moving Pictures
* 11) Reaper Man
* 12) Witches Abroad
* 13) Small Gods
* 14) Lords and Ladies
* 15) Men at Arms
* 16) Soul Music
* 17) Interesting Times
* 18) Maskerade
* 19) Feet of Clay
* 20) Hogfather
* 21) Jingo
* 22) The Last Continent
* 23) Carpe Jugulum
* 24) The Fifth Elephant
* 25) The Truth
* 26) Thief of Time
* 27) The Last Hero
* 28) The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents
* 29) Night Watch
* 30) The Wee Free Men
* 31) Monstrous Regiment
* 32) A Hat Full of Sky
* 33) Going Postal
* 34) Thud!
* 35) Wintersmith
* 36) Making Money
* Maps (1) The Streets of Ankh-Morpork
* Maps (2)The Discworld Mapp
* Maps (3) A Tourist Guide to Lancre
* Maps (4) Death's Domain
* Short Story: A Collegiate Casting-Out of Devilish Devices
* Short Story: Death and What Comes Next
* Short Story: The Sea and Little Fishes
* Short Story: Theatre of Cruelty
* Short Story: Troll Bridge
* Short Story: Turntables of the Night
* The Art of Discworld
* The Folklore of Discworld
* The New Discworld Companion
* The Science of Discworld
* The Science of Discworld II: The Globe
* The Science of Discworld III: Darwin's Watch
* The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld

Darren Shan's The Saga of Darren Shan

* 01) Vampire Blood: Cirque du Freak
* 02) Vampire Blood: The Vampire's Assistant
* 03) Vampire Blood: Tunnels of Blood
* 04) Vampire Rites: Vampire Mountain
* 05) Vampire Rites: Trails of Death
* 06) Vampire Rites: The Vampire Prince

Other Books Read In 2009

* A Fraction of the Whole
* And Then There Were None
* Eternals
* Inkheart
* Inkspell
* It's Not Funny If I Have To Explain It : A Dilbert Book
* Marvel 1602
* Swami and Friends
* The Complete Parker Pyne: Private Eye
* The Graveyard Book
* The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
* The Mysterious Mr Quin
* 侦探伽利略
* 嫌疑犯X的献身
* 那些男孩教我的事
* 预知梦
* 黄春明作品集一：莎哟娜啦‧再见
* 黄春明作品集二：儿子的大玩偶

Movies Watched In 2009

* Angels and Demons
* Coraline (3D)
* Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
* Inkheart
* Night at the Museum 2
* Slumdog Millionaire
* The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* Up (3D)
* Watchmen
* X-men Origins: Wolverine
* 嫌疑犯X的献身 Suspect X
* 崖上的波儿 Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea
* 新宿事件 Shinjuku Incident
* 赤壁II Red Cliff II
* 送行者 Departures

巧合

2009-12-22T13:57:00.002+08:00

人生真是很奇妙。

原来BOSS的天海祐希就是Ponyo崖上的波妞中的Granmamare配音员。
而Granmamare英文版本的配音员竟然是Cate Blanchett。

下一站天国悸动了一下

2009-12-18T17:35:00.003+08:00

歌曲名称:下一站天国
歌手名称:黄耀明
作曲人:黄耀明蔡德才
填词人:林夕
编曲人:蔡德才

明日过后我的天空失去你的海岸
馀下今天足够我向往
阳光正仁慈地滑过睡床
然后时候有限换来无限奢望
然后公园商店逛一趟
还可以平静地望透天边海角
我已很快乐
改天再访若你仍盼望

请吸一口气证明你开心
(请挥一挥手证明你开心)
(开开心心请不要试验我的恻隐)
请牵一牵挂试验爱的残忍
缩短了永恒增长了皱纹
于天国再会亦能拾回前尘

请紧紧拥抱证明你贪心
请轻轻一吻证明这个不是路人
(即使贪心请给我证明我不是路人)
抚摸过雪人苦恋过圣人
从来未遇过你声音多动人
(多么伤感的笑声)

明日再会我的身躯搜索你的身影
如下一站不会到天国
来沾湿我眼睛做个记认
然后然后各自梦游馀下生命
然后彼此都要更高兴
如果再无然后踏过天路历程
你我可约定
将于哪天在哪儿畅泳
请勿回望
请勿回望
请勿善忘

Let's talk about me.

2009-12-09T15:44:00.002+08:00

我...

能坐着不站，能躺着不坐。
喜欢老歌。
欣赏的多是不那么年轻的男男女女。
《康熙来了》是精神粮食。
喜欢港剧和日剧。（曾经喜欢过新加坡剧，年少无知嘛。）
觉得世界上有神，而且不止一个。
爱死Neil Gaiman和Terry Pratchett。
有时感慨生命之短，有时埋怨生命之长。
遗憾自己懂世时，许多人的巅峰已过，永见证不到他们的辉煌。
喜欢别人的世界。Discworld。One Piece。武侠世界的江湖。
觉得书本是世界上最伟大的东西之一。巧克力也是。薯片也是。
最大的缺点是独立。
不怕孤独怕寂寞。
觉得睡眠本来就很重要。睡到日上三竿一点错也没有。
一想到未来40年都需要无止境地工作，真是惨绝人寰。
喜欢美丽的人、事、物。自己既然不是，更应该贪婪地尽量吸收欣赏。
最近在读倪匡、蔡澜。
认同倪匡说的，如果金钱可以买到快乐，飞扑去买。
认同倪匡说的，自己的生活，若是要依照他人的眼光来决定，那还不如去死好了。

Happy~

2009-12-05T19:25:00.002+08:00

It has nothing to do with me, but I'm in a very good mood because Sheren Tang won best actress on the TVB award show this year.就是看得爽。
倪匡说，如果钱买得到快乐，飞扑去买。
如果喜欢偶像也可以获得快乐，我想也应该飞扑着去喜欢吧。

這些都會過去的

2009-11-14T19:41:00.003+08:00

Met quite a number of old classmates along the corridors in NUS this semester, isn't it fascinating that after going through PSLE, Sec 2 streaming, O levels and then A levels, after being filtered into different places and, as we thought, different paths in life, we somehow managed to meet at a certain point again?
Would we have cried so hard, would we have lamented as much, should we know that actually, years down the road, we would wound up in the same place again?
Would my friends who had felt so bitter or smug when we parted ways have known that in the end, we would still be more or less equal?
Of course, some people are filtered out and never to be seen again, they would never realise that eventually, it may turn out the same after all.
Had we known, one day, this will all be insignificant.
Always save your emotions...

康永啊，我想为你的诗做一个photoshop.
-----------------------------
有一天
這些都會過去的
想到這結果
我就欣慰

再怎麼累死人的愛
再怎麼累死人的恨
都會過去

失眠
被冤枉
交通阻塞
長得不好看
都會過去

真是令人讚歎啊
生命怎麼能訂製得這麼仁慈?
又這麼冷淡?

你愛收集的
到底是我們的笑啊?
還是我們的淚?

你不必回答我
不管是基於內疚
還是基於憐憫
你都不必回答我

因為你已經夠貼心了
你有向我再三保證了:

有一天
我這些微不足道的疑惑
也都會過去的
也都會過去的

I plan to be...

2009-10-27T14:06:00.004+08:00

FABULOUS.

原来不只我一个

2009-10-17T09:36:00.004+08:00

昨天...

Me:......是几个大人来的。
WX:大人都是这样的啦。
Me:本小姐明天会是其中一个了。你早就是了嘛！
WX:可是我有幼小的心灵啊！

------

Me:怎么办我老了...你不要太高兴很快轮到你。
XY:我已经活在self-delusion了。
Me:整天十八、十八、十八？
XY:我去年一岁，今年两岁。

世界这么大

2009-10-16T23:30:00.003+08:00

在一幅与墙一样大的世界地图上，新加坡却显得更是这么这么的渺小。
山河大地只是微尘，何况是尘中的尘？

世界这么大，我却这么小。
世界这么大，我竟然还在这里。
世界这么大，虽然永远走不完，还是想走一走。

我要到日本看宫崎骏爷爷的工作坊。
我要到北京看一看故宫。
我要看雪，我要看北极光，我要看开满遍野的花与满天的星星。
我想看看这个世界，在我短短的人生中，留一些些足迹。

Birthdays

2009-10-13T12:43:00.002+08:00

My birthday is coming and I don't know what to do...
I am terrified of growing old.

Online

2009-09-30T20:09:00.001+08:00

Oh my god.
The World Wide Web is a treacherous place.

Imperfect Life

2009-09-23T12:08:00.003+08:00

The creator of my beloved 蜡笔小新 comics, 臼井儀人 had met with an unfortunate accident and passed away a few days ago.
I am very shocked by this news and hereby mourn his death, as well as the end of 蜡笔小新.
I have just gotten around 20 蜡笔小新 comic books from my cousin and was just reading through them a few weeks ago, and had been very unhappy about how the author had made 松阪老师's fiance die in a terrorist attack just after they had reconciled, turning the story into a rather tragic one, which is very different from the 小新 comics I am used to.
I hate stories which kill characters off when there is definitely no need to, like Jiraiya in Naruto and lots of other comics, but 蜡笔小新 is meant to be fun and idiotic and I was hence rather taken aback when I read that part of the story, even though of course it had a sort of happy ending at the end.
And now the author had passed away, perhaps it is true then there is nothing such as a perfect life, a perfect story or a perfect ending.
Lives are lost in meaningless, accidental ways all the time.
As much as I like 蜡笔小新, I am not sure I welcome the idea of letting another author continue with this series, it'll be like Peanuts, really. Never-ending but never going to be as good as it was.
I'll always remember the first few dozens of 蜡笔小新， the nonsensical, idiotic and madly funny comics which will make me laugh out even on trains and buses, providing me with the simplest joy.
R.I.P.

The Robotic Truman Show

2009-09-15T11:00:00.000+08:00

I just have to share this.
Now I know I'm not the only one who suspects we're living in some kind of The Truman Show.
-------------------------------------------------------
Killer Moon http://dilbert.com/blog/entry/killer_moon/
Sep 14, 2009 by Scott Adams

Lately I have been looking at the moon and wondering if it will someday kill me. If I live another 50 years (which is entirely possible) I assume I will eventually be a robot, having shed my old skin and bones body and uploaded a scanned and digitized version of my brain to a machine. My fellow robots and I will live among the meat people for eons until the moon's orbit degrades, either gradually or because a meteor gives it a nudge, and Earth is annihilated in the collision. You might say I worry too much. But I've successfully avoided death so far, so I say I worry just enough.

Because of this impending moon problem I have been planning an exit strategy. By the time the moon starts heading our way I imagine we'll have the technology to send me into space in an escape rocket, searching for a habitable planet. I could power down my robot brain so the trip isn't so boring.

But even if this plan works it will be lonely when I find my new planet. And then there is the issue of the 400 billion meat people and fellow robots I leave behind, including my hot robot wife, Shelly, and the rest of my robot family. I want a solution for them too. Sure, I could reprogram my brain to not care, but that's not how I roll.

Unfortunately, I assume there would be no practical way to build and launch enough rockets for everyone to escape, at least not in time. So sending the entire population of Earth to the new planet isn't going to work.

We need a better plan than that, and it goes like this: Once we have the technology, we begin scanning and digitizing everyone's brain routinely, perhaps once a year during regular physicals. By then I'm sure we'll have universal planetary healthcare. Remember, this is the far, far future.

Once the moon starts coming our way, we launch some of the robot people, including me, as scouts for the new planet. Each of us will carry a huge flash drive filled with all the scanned brains of the meat people and robots that will be left behind. We will also bring enough technology to build more robots on New Earth.

I suppose we'd also want to freeze a few regular humans and take them along in the cargo bin so we can begin breeding them on New Earth, just for old time's sake. Obviously the meat people would be regarded as old technology, and a huge pain in the ass, always complaining about sinus problems and toothaches and whatnot, but we could turn off our robot ears when we visit them in the zoo on New Earth.

I look forward to my new robot planet. You might think that being a robot would be less fun than being human, but I think fun is exactly the sort of subroutine we'd design into the robot system. Or maybe we could just buy it at the iTunes app store.

Perhaps you think you would miss being human, but that's a subroutine we'd leave out of the robot mind. You would be designed for happiness. And I'm not talking about ordinary happiness. I'm talking about the kind that makes you scream and curl your robot toes. It will be a happy robot planet.

Another possible future is that we are so invested in our humanity, with all of its flaws, that we design our future robotic containers to perceive ourselves and other robots as flesh and blood humans. In other words, there's a good chance this plan already happened and you're a robot living on New Earth. You're only programmed to believe you are human.

Yeah, you knew I was going there.

I quite understand.

2009-09-03T16:36:00.003+08:00

'Of course, of course,' he said. 'You have to believe that, I appreciate. Otherwise you'd go quite mad. Otherwise you'd think you're standing on a feather-thin bridge over the vaults of Hell. Otherwise existence would be a dark agony and the only hope would be that there is no life after death. I quite understand.'

-Havelock Vetinari
Patrician, absolute ruler and nearly benevolent dictator of Ankh-Morpork

Veni, vici... Vetinari.

2009-09-01T10:52:00.003+08:00

"You need a special kind of mind to rule a city like Ankh-Morpork, and Lord Vetinari had it. But then, he was a special kind of person."

"A figure had apparently stepped out of the wall. It was human, but only by default. Thin, pale and clad all in dusty black the Patrician always put Ridcully in mind of a predatory flamingo, if you could find a flamingo that was black and had the patience of a rock."

'Music?' said the Patrician. 'Ah. Tell me more.'
He leaned back in an attitude that suggested attentive listening. He was extremely good at listening. He created a kind of mental suction. People told him things just to avoid the silence.
Besides, Lord Vetinari, the supreme ruler of Ankh-Morpork, rather liked music.
People wondered what sort of music would appeal to such a man.
Highly formalized chamber music, possibly, or thunder-and-lightening opera scores.
In fact the kind of music he really liked was the kind that never got played. It ruined music, in his opinion, to torment it by involving it on dried skins, bits of dead cat and lumps of metal hammered into wires and tubes. It ought to stay written down, on the page, in rows of little dots and crotchets, all neatly caught between lines. Only there was it pure. It was when people started doing things with it that the rot set in. Much better to sit quietly in a room and read the sheets, with nothing between yourself and the mind of the composer but a scribble of ink. Having it played by sweaty fat men and people with hair in their ears and spit dribbling out of the end of their oboe...well, the idea made him shudder. Although not much, because he never did anything to extremes.

南国的孩子

2009-08-13T21:00:00.000+08:00

张悬南国的孩子

風揚起了你的黑髮你不經心地甩過鬢頰
笑可以天然地飄灑心是一地草野, 唯一的
家鄉
是我從不能朝仰的遠方

夜晚你含泥土的氣息
純然原始的粗獷
冷地熱著的眼神消長; 你握有誓言般的夢想
即不能停止流浪流浪

回聲中, 有人呼喊
有人悼念
有人不言不語地明白

你是南國來的孩子有著不能縛的性子
身上披覆了寓言而渾然不知
奔跑著忘我的快樂悲傷都放肆
陽光也不願阻止

你是南國來的孩子人要愛人要恨的樣子
血裡流竄著遠在古老的故事
手心刻劃上帝的仁慈
與未知相似

與未知相似
與未知相似
與未知相似
相似

夜晚你含泥土的氣息
純然原始的粗獷
冷地熱著的眼神消長, 你握有誓言般的夢想
即不能停止流浪
流浪

你是南國來的孩子有著不能縛的性子
身上披覆了寓言而渾然不知
奔跑著忘我的快樂悲傷都放肆
陽光也不願阻止

你是南國來的孩子人要愛人要恨的樣子
血裡流竄著遠在古老的故事
手心刻劃上帝的仁慈
與未知相似

你是南國來的孩子有著不能縛的性子
身上披覆了寓言而渾然不知
奔跑著忘我的快樂悲傷都放肆
陽光也不願阻止

你是南國來的孩子人要愛人要恨的樣子
血裡流竄著遠在古老的故事
手心刻劃上帝的仁慈
與未知相似

與未知相似
與未知相似
與未知相似
相似

-----------

一听就好喜欢。

Death and Vimes

2009-07-31T10:55:00.000+08:00

Who really knew what evil lurked in the heart of men?

ME.

Who knew what sane men were capable of?

STILL ME, I'M AFRAID.

Vimes glanced at the door of the last room. No, he wasn't going in there again. No wonder it stank here.

YOU CAN'T HEAR ME, CAN YOU? OH. I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT, said Death, and waited.

Feeling of Dread

2009-07-30T13:37:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt a strange reluctance to do something, even if it is something that you actually like or have planned to do, for fear that it will end?

I tend to feel this way very often, and I seriously think I'm very weird.

Whenever I pass by the TV and its showing some serial drama, I'll actually violently avoid seeing or hearing any part of it, it's like a sudden feeling of detest or indeed, fear, of watching any serial drama. The problem is, when I finally did get to sit down and watch, chances are I'll like the drama very much and immediately try to finish the whole series.

Also, the phobia is even more serious if it's a show I've watched before. My sister was watching 冲上云霄 and Harry Potter on the computer, and I felt sharp feelings of dread whenever the shows are on, even though I have enjoyed them when I first watched them.

I thought about this problem, and I can't really grasp the reason behind my reactions, except that perhaps I am afraid to revisit how I felt when I first watched the shows, or I am scared of being disappointed by the shows, but neither really made much sense.

Lately, I am about to finish the whole series of Discworld books and I dread this fact very much. I am seriously going to be directionless for a period of time because this series had been what kept me purposeful for more than 8 months.
In fact sometimes I dread to start a new Discworld book even though I love the books very much, but I have the weird feeling of relief when I realise I have read quite a big part and am even about to finish the book, as if reading it had been a chore.
It's all very complicated and I can't imagine why this is so.
It's all terribly confusing.

Theory of Glass from Discworld

2009-07-21T14:07:00.004+08:00

There are, it had been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty.

The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: "What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!"

And at the other end of the bar the world is full of the other type of person, who has a broken glass, or a glass that has been carelessly knocked over (usually by one of the people calling for a larger glass), or who had no glass at all, because they were at the back of a crowd and had failed to catch the barman's eye.

Death

2009-07-21T13:50:00.003+08:00

Death sighed and shook his head.

THE OTHER ONE... HAD SOMETHING IN HIM THAT COULD BE BETTER, he said. BUT THAT ONE... He sighed deeply. WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN?

The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of potato.

SQUEAK, he said.

Death waved a hand dismissively. WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME, he said. I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE.

纵贯线

2009-07-20T12:37:00.003+08:00

　　不知道这辈子还有多少机会可以亲耳听到罗大佑唱《鹿港小镇》、听李宗盛唱《凡人歌》。有些东西再迟一些就永远没机会了，庆幸自己这一次没有错过，以免遗憾终生。
　　可能因为他们实在太资深了，所以真的真的有可能以后都没有机会再听到，所以面对年纪轻得多，经典歌少得多的张震嶽时热情真的就被浇息了一些，尤其他选择的歌一点都不熟的时候，可是听到《自由》和《爱的初体验》还是很开心，心情不自觉变的很轻松摇滚。

　　我觉得全场下来最难得的是可以亲耳听到周华健唱《难念的经》，一首所谓冷门但我熟得不得了也爱得不得了的歌，刹那间觉得，这首歌是他唱给我一个人听的。
　　记得以前曾经深夜不肯睡，只为了听这首《天龙八部》的主题曲。由于完全出乎意料，所以特别感动。
　　另一个惊喜是听他们唱《皇后大道东》。这首歌是我今年下载一系列由林夕作词的歌曲时偶然收集下来的，碰巧觉得好听，所以留了下来，觉得歌词有趣，所以上网搜寻歌曲背后的意义，然后竟然在当晚听到纵贯线的演唱，总觉得有点像天意。

　　有八千观众在场，但我相信每一个人当天带走的都是不一样的体验，每一首歌在每个人心中吹起的涟漪也不可能会相同，原来这就是身在现场听到真正歌声的魅力，康永没有在骗人啊。

Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax

2009-07-13T21:17:00.003+08:00

This was a test. Everything was a test. Everything was a competition. Life put them in front of you everyday. You watched yourself all the time. You had to make choices. You never got told which ones were right. Oh, some of the priests said you got given marks afterwards, but what was the point of that?

悼念悼念

2009-06-26T13:48:00.002+08:00

打开电脑就看见Michael Jackson过世的新闻。
遗憾之余，想看看他的Thriller悼念悼念，
Youtube竟然告诉我“因版权限制，此视频不能在您的国家/地区播放。”

人生啊，有时候太残忍了一点。

转到康少的博客，发现我很喜欢的一篇文章又重新被放到首页，而且换上了MJ的相片。

人生啊，有时候又有点温暖，因为有同类啊。

Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully

2009-06-25T10:24:00.005+08:00

'Thank goodness he's still operating the Project,' said Ponder, joining him. 'I think he's got confused.'

'It's not his job to get confused,' said Ridcully. 'We don't need a machine for being confused. We're entirely capable of confusin' ourselves. This is a human achievement, confusion, and right at this minute I feel I'm winning a prize.'

问题

2009-06-22T17:05:00.003+08:00

人的一生，问得比较多的是

“为什么是我？”

还是

“为什么不是我？”

How would you like to die?

2009-06-08T15:23:00.002+08:00

Last week, someone famous died in his hotel room closet, supposedly due to an accident involving autoerotic asphyxiation. I googled this and the result was rather, er, surprising.
Immediately I was reminded of old men who died while having sex, in chinese we call it 马上风. The sadder thing is that more often than not the other party is someone other than their wives and girlfriends.

I guess people do die under all sorts of circumstances, so-called lucky ones die peacefully in their sleep, some lie sickly in bed waiting for death to take over. Others die more adventurously, perhaps in some accident during, say, parachuting, mountain climbing, etc. Of course many die painfully in wars and car accidents and plane crashes.
However, in all of the above, death is nearly expected or could be expected in some significant percentage. There are risks involved.

What about people who died while eating or drinking when they unexpectedly choke? Or having sex? Or masturbating? The risks involved here is definitely low. So low I bet no one saw it coming in any way. Some people may even call it unfair.

Personally, I think it is not entirely a bad thing to die while experiencing pleasure, particularly from the viewpoint of the deceased, though it may cause some unpleasant surprises to the sexual partners involved, and of course to the living relatives who have to do the explanation.

Dying while engaging in sex in some form is awkward, not because of the act itself but what it is associated with. For example, those who died while visiting ladies of negotiable affections died because they consumed some form of medication, which immediately brings one to think of his supposedly unhappy sexual life back at home. Imagine how sad it is for the family to lose a family member, and still have to face these assumptions regarding the circumstances of death. For the deceased, indeed he/she might be experiencing sexual pleasure at the moment of death, which is more than we can say for many other forms of death, but the reputation is forever ruin. No one will remember how you lived, but definitely the way you died.
Then again, for the deceased, perhaps it doesn't matter anymore.
---
Apparently, when we die, we lose our senses one by one, and the last one to go would be that of hearing.
I wonder how many died while listening to hysterical cries of loved ones, or to continuous prayers or chantings of religious groups, or to the screams and cries of others around him facing the same peril.
蔡康永mentioned in his blog that perhaps he would come up with a list of his favourite songs to play during his dying moments.
After thinking it over, I think I won't follow his way, because chances of hearing one of my favourite songs unfinished is very, very cruel to the dead me. Another thing is the tremendous amount of songs I love, which means I probably have to 弥留 for a long time before I pass away to finish the list, which is somewhat cruel too.
If I expected my death, I hope there's some sort of respectable silence around me when I die, I don't want to risk someone or something making a sound which may be the last thing I hear, in case it turns out disappointing.
If death is not expected, actually I would rather be enjoying some sort of pleasure than die in agony.
Choking on chocolates sounds good. Potato chips too.

Hmm

2009-06-04T11:04:00.002+08:00

'I saw your advertisement in the papers,' said that little man nervously.

'You're in trouble, Mr Roberts?'

'No, not in trouble exactly.'

'You are unhappy?'

'I shouldn't like to say that either. I've a great deal to be thankful for.'

'We all have,' said Mr Parker Pyne. 'But when we have to remind ourselves of the fact it is a bad sign.'

Quotes + Photoshop = Fun

2009-06-03T10:44:00.001+08:00

Time to find more quotes and more time for photoshop =)

Angels and Demons

2009-06-01T15:40:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I think it would be very nice to have a religion.
When something good comes along, I would have something or someone definite to direct my thanks to, and not worry my luck will eventually run out.
More importantly, when shit happens, I have someone to blame. Or if not I will be able to find a reason to justify my misery, with something like a promise of heaven waiting for me when everything ends.
Then again, being without a religion adds to my philosophy of 人一定要靠自己, and I feel better to know that I won't ever be in the position to feel abandoned or betrayed by my religion because I put too much faith in something apart from myself.
I don't believe in blaming something else greater than myself for wrongs I've done, like blaming the devil for whispering to you when you're stealing, it's plain wrong.
However, I can't put down the feeling of peace I felt that one time I was in this particular religious infrastructure.
I believe in greater beings high up there, but perhaps they have to find me, since it seems I've failed to find them when I had the chance.

最喜欢的歌之一

2009-05-28T13:03:00.000+08:00

Pieces of Existence

2009-05-26T11:25:00.005+08:00

Been thinking about this problem for quite some time.

To quote from Discworld:
What's it all about? Seriously? When you get right down to it?

I'm on msn, I have 2 emails addresses, my handphone is on all the time. I am somehow active on facebook, and I have many characters in MapleStory.
These are part of the pieces of my existence to certain groups of people, but I can switch all of them off, and indeed I did for some time a while ago.
When these pieces of my existence and social contact disappear, apparently part of my own existence turned less solid as well.
When people get used to knowing you via these little pieces of you, they judge you and understand you mainly through these ways.
When you stopped appearing via these methods, the "you" gets forgotten eventually, even though there is indeed such a living, solid person right here and at the back of their minds they know it.
But the fact is, one do get forgotten rather easily. Or I may say, perhaps the real person didn't really register in other people's minds hence as soon as the pieces of existence cease to function anymore, the person cease to exist as well. When they don't know you well enough, they don't care enough to remember you're there.
One doesn't really get "remembered" as a person anymore. People do not forget your existence simply because you're there, not because they remember you. When you're not there, people treat it as if you don't exist anymore.
But I'm here.
The real me is really here even though I may not be online and I am far away from social contact.
I'm still here and I'm eternally glad for being remembered by some even though I'm not really there right in their face for them not to forget me.
I heard about this story of how a MapleStory gal supposedly faked her own death to cheat her online friends of godly items she wanted badly, because it's her "deathwish".
1)If I'm dying, I won't have time to include MapleStory in my deathwish if I happen to think of one.
2)What good does all these do if you're really dead?
3)However, this shows that when people die, others would probably remember him/her more and actually treat him/her much better than when he/she was alive simply because it's a habit to remember the dead, everything is now seen through rose tinted glasses and perhaps guilt and regrets.
I don't want to be remembered because I'm dead, I don't want to be not forgotten simply because I force my existence on people around me.
I want to be remembered for who I am now when I happen to be alive whether I am there or not, by people whom I will always remember whether dead or alive.
If I can't be remembered by anyone, as in really remembered, at least I want myself to then not remember anyone, because they're probably not worth it.

The problem with translated books

2009-05-18T11:54:00.002+08:00

I think it is fair to say that I am quite a fan of reading, and very often it frustrates me to realise my own limitations of being only bilingual, and hence not being able to enjoy books in other languages in their most genuine form.
When I'm reading Inkheart and Inkspell in English, and I don't like them very much, I would wonder what would they be like in German, the original language, and whether it is because the translated books do not do the books justice, since it is supposedly a very popular series.
When I want to read 村上春树, I would be undecided between choosing the translated English or Chinese versions, while thinking at the back of my mind that neither of them will be ever as good as the original Japanese version. Personally, for Japanese books, I would prefer the Chinese version since I have the mindset that they're somehow closer and hopefully will preserve more of the original spirit of the books.
Lately I've been trying to find the book Sad Cypress from the Hercule Poirot series, but the only one I can find is the Chinese version in NLB, which translates to 丝柏的哀歌, and the book is pretty long and wordy, which is very different from other Agatha Christie books, as some of her fans might realise. I've read half of it so far, and I can somehow accept it in Chinese if not for the fact that Poirot = 白罗. Also, the translator is highly capable in Chinese and her literature flair is evident, with me finding pretty nice quotes in the books, but again I hesitate to copy them down because I'm not sure if it is indeed what Agatha Christie wrote in the original English version.
Come to think of it though, if not for these translators, I might never get to read certain foreign books, and I respect them for their own literature style in the translations.
There's this wonderfully cute cartoon style book series called Moomins, which is originally Finnish, if not for the Chinese ones I found one fine day in Jurong library, I would've never realise there's such a pure, cute and sweet cartoon around. The other sweet thing is I notice afterwards that the translator is actually 张小娴, the Hongkong writer I like. 真是英雄所见略同。
Actually, there are so many wonderful English and Chinese books around, so perhaps I should pay more attention to them instead of lamenting on how I can never read a translated book in its full glory, then again, the same thing with animes, TV series and movies, sometimes the foreign ones are so good one just can't help but jump into it even though one doesn't understand the original language.

大隐隐于市

2009-05-12T21:33:00.003+08:00

My self-reflections change from time to time, according to my mood swings and extreme self mental mutilations, and the latest ones are:

~Do not assume retreating into hermitage will solve any problems, if anything it makes you even more insignificant for not being there when you should be.
~Do not feel or act as if anyone is obliged to do anything for you, no more expectations, no more disappointments.
~Do not be over reliant on certain people, forces or directions in life. 人，一定要靠自己。
~Always remember that no particular person or circumstance can force anything on me unless I want it to. It is always a matter of choice, albeit with limited choices.
~Do not complain. There's no one to listen, or if there is, they're not really listening, or if they are, they can't help you anyway.
~Regard every act of affection and kindness gratefully and sincerely because being kind is not a must in people, so if they do it's always something to be thankful for.
~To the world in general, I should always remember to confidently say, "I don't give a damn".
~When all else fails, read, read, read.
~When I grow old, as in really old, I want to be Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax, Maryann Thorpe and Hilda Hoi all rolled into one.

PostSecret

2009-04-21T22:28:00.003+08:00

It's so scary. It's like with every passing week there must be at least one secret that tugs at your heartstrings.
On one hand you realise you're not alone, on the other you realise you're not alone, and hence you shouldn't spend so much sympathy or angst on yourself. And by not doing so, it gets more and more unbearable.
On one hand I want to collect the whole PostSecret book series badly, on the other I don't really like the image of myself reading while lamenting and bleeding deep inside, over and over, again and again.

爱江山更爱美人

2009-04-15T22:31:00.003+08:00

道不尽红尘奢恋诉不完人间恩怨世世代代都是缘
留着相同的血喝着相同的水这条路漫漫又长远
红花当然配绿叶这一辈子谁来陪渺渺茫茫来又回
往日情景再浮现藕虽断了丝还连轻叹世间事多变迁
爱江山更爱美人哪个英雄好汉宁愿孤单
好儿郎浑身是胆壮志豪情四海远名扬
人生短短几个秋啊不醉不罢休
东边我的美人哪西边黄河流
来呀来个酒啊不醉不罢休
愁情烦事别放心头
人生短短几个秋啊不醉不罢休
东边我的美人哪西边黄河流
来呀来个酒啊不醉不罢休
愁情烦事别放心头
---
I have a soft spot for any old 武侠/江湖 songs, and this is such a classic.

庸庸碌碌过一生

2009-04-13T13:09:00.003+08:00

The dull and dark feeling of helplessness and restlessness is creeping on me more and more often nowadays.
As much as I like to live my youth and my life to the fullest, it is becoming more and more apparent that it is impossible to do so.
Carpe diem, so they say, I am unclear whether is it due to my own passive character or is it because of the big environment which shaped me so, but this haunting feeling of not being to live to my fullest potential and happiness is fast becoming an unhappy reality.
There are too many things I can't control, and there are too many things I can't let go.
In the end, I am always the one to sacrifice the possibilities ahead, simply because I am the only one left to fend for myself and my loved ones.
There is indeed a small, unfamiliar urge within me to dream big and be successful beyond normal imagination instead of sticking to the tried and tested route for security, but I desperately lack the means and opportunity to do so.
In the end, I believe I will be damned to live a mundane, common, insignificant life just like the majority of everyone else, because it is simply not within me or anyone to fight the bigger, negative forces which had surrounded me all my life.
庸庸碌碌过一生。
This is the life I had feared I would live, and yet it seems inevitable for one as helpless as myself.
Let's just hope the restlessness caused by my unnamed ambitions and dreams will fade away without hurting so much.
The world is big and beautiful, and I am and will be just staying here.
I am only 20. Why do I have to keep reminding myself and others that I've barely began my life?

The Bloggers I Like

2009-04-09T11:28:00.003+08:00

It's amazing how much one can learn from reading blogs of wonderful writers from different fields.

转自张小娴的blog:

我們生而孤獨，直到我們遇到了另一個人，讓我們知道人生是可以沒那麼孤獨的。
是沒那麼孤獨，而不是不再孤獨。
一個人有一個人的好。下班後，拖著疲憊的身軀回家，懶懶地趴在床上，用不著跟任何人說話。兩個人卻也有兩個人的好，當你疲倦的時候，有個人借出他的大腿給你趴上去，伸出他的臂彎給你枕著睡覺。
到底要有多愛一個人，才會願意接受他每晚的鼾聲？
要有多愛一個人，才會願意接受他睡覺時流口水？
要有多愛一個人，才會願意接受他早上醒來的口氣？
要有多愛一個人，才會也愛他身上的贅肉和他漸漸消逝的青春，知道自己也如他一般，正在一點點老去？
又要有多愛一個人，才會捨棄一個人孤獨的快樂和自由，無視愛情短命的本質，跟他形影不離？
要有多愛一個人，在床上醒著時，才會緊緊握著他的手，跟他一起滑入夢鄉？
要有多愛一個人，睡覺時才會用一雙手摟著他的肚子，用一雙腳牢牢夾著他的一雙腳，好像以這個姿勢宣告：你是我的。
要有多愛一個人，才不會厭倦他？永不永不。
要有多愛一個人，才會跟他枕席廝磨到永遠，直到你們兩個都已經老得沒法再做那回事了。

and so I realise, it will be too hard for one as selfish as myself...
---
转自陈安仪的blog:

我印象很深刻的是，有一次，我在母乳協會的討論區看到有一個媽媽發言，表示她有一次在BURBERRY的專賣店裡，因為穿著樸素而遭到店員蔑視，於是她很火大，發揮財力購買其產品變成VIP，結果店員後來每次看到她都很客氣，對她畢恭畢敬。
我看完之後，只回了一句簡短的話，就把她氣得半死。我問：「請問，妳為什麼需要一個『店員』看得起妳呢？」
對我來說，一個人活在世上的價值，絕非「名牌」的力量可以加持，也不是按照「消費能力」多寡去計分的。對我來說，終日追求「名牌」，與終日追求「狗屎」沒什麼不同。人按照自己的能力過生活，既不必羨慕自己買不起的東西，也無須在意自己擁有與否。
有一次，有記者問李敖：「請問您穿的招牌紅夾克是哪一個牌子的？」我很喜歡李敖的回答：「我不知道它是什麼牌子。穿在我身上的，就是名牌！」
人如果能有這一分自信，豈不是更勝名牌上身？

看到BURBERRY的故事时，我只觉得服务员狗眼看人低，读到后来，我才发现原来自己的思想确实还不够成熟，不能像陈安仪一样想得更深一点。虽然不认同李敖一贯对外的作风，但还是不得不承认他的思维之敏捷，观点之特殊。
---
转自蔡康永的blog:

算是善意的誤會吧
我閱讀可不是用功
我閱讀多半只是逃離
還有一些不甘心
逃離自己
逃離這個世界
不甘心自己
不甘心這個世界

真是心有戚戚焉啊...

爱得比较深

2009-03-31T12:26:00.004+08:00

曲:陶喆
詞:丁曉雯

I LOVE YOU FOREVER 我從不否認
可是当爱已失去了信任何不了了這緣份
我常常凭感觉去爱一个人
但是我害怕到最后沒有了爱只剩下恨

不想再为谁留一盞灯不会再为谁紧闭心门
真心还在天空还在人可以活的简单
不必问谁爱得比较深傻得要谁來承认
无欲无求的心情不会冷不会心冷
也许再不会遇上另一个人不会心冷

你明白了吗沒有永远不谢的花
你明白了吗心愿不必寄在天上
你明白了吗自己就是自己的家
虽然现实令我沮丧卻不失望

不想再为谁留一盞灯不会再为谁紧闭心门
真心还在天空还在人可以活的简单
不必问谁爱得比较深傻得要谁來承认
沒有一种寂寞不能忍
沒有一种爱值得赔上你的一生

不想再为谁留一盞灯不会再为谁紧闭心门
真心还在天空还在人可以活的简单
不必问谁爱得比较深傻得要谁來承认
无欲无求的心情不会冷不会心冷

I LOVE YOU FOREVER 我从不否认
虽然还记得爱情会伤人心中不会有恨
晚安我爱的人也许你也在等
但愿有一天你和我都能完成
所谓的缘份
-----
第一次听这首歌，是在“超级星光大道二”，由最喜欢的选手梁文音演唱，后来也演唱了《那一夜你喝了酒》。
后来开始慢慢发现陈淑桦的歌，终于了解为什么这么多人希望她复出。
原来我妈很喜欢的《问》也是她唱的。
虽然与其期待这些经典歌手复出，重复地唱着以前的歌，不如把期望放在新歌手身上，但是可以予以期望的新晋歌手却又太少，文音很棒，可是反而觉得是专辑的制作和歌曲拖累了她。
不够好的新歌手，也缺少了新的好歌，到最后还是只能重复听着经典老歌，尽力了解我错过的歌曲黄金年代。

星仔星爷 - 周星驰

2009-03-23T16:10:00.004+08:00

最近大家好像都卯起来批评周星驰，我的结论是：
They're jealous!因为无敌是寂寞的。
又或者，是因为最近星爷会有新作品，于是大家来炒炒新闻。

向华强太太突然数落周星驰的种种“罪行”也就罢了，毕竟向华强是永远的“龙五”，而且故事真实性其实不低。
突然又跳出好久不见的文隽，其实我对这个人的印象不深，但是偏偏选这个时候跳进来写一篇贬低周星驰的文章，很难不被联想成炒作新闻，损人利己。
后来和周星驰合作过的罗家英、王晶、吴孟达、洪金宝等纷纷发言，可是我确信某些所谓的“quotes”我曾经读过，只能算是旧闻，只是因为最近搞得风风火火而被翻出来而已。
今天终于读到支援周星驰的声音，来自莫文蔚和张家辉，都不约而同地提到周星驰的“天才”特质。
再后来，突然读到原本的骂声转了方向，一一澄清其实他们并不是在针对周星驰，而是媒体夸大了。
媒体可以是有心人士炒新闻的好帮手，也是最方便的代罪羔羊，真相如何外人真的不知道。

我个人是非常欣赏周星驰的。
我觉得他是不能够被取代的电影天才，他拍早期的电影时没有决定权，但后来他自己的电影我是百看不腻的。
也许他是被误解的，也许他真的是这个样子，但是只要他拍出来的电影是好看的，难道不就证明他的坚持是对的吗？
从一开始默默无名到开始恶心搞笑，一直到后来的真正幽默、无厘头、好笑，周星驰从星仔成为了星爷，我相信他的坚持是对的，他根据自我理想与风格拍出来的电影是好的，别人看不过眼，其实真的是别人的事，对于一个观众来说，所支持的应该还是拍好电影给大家看的周星驰。
我想也许就因为这些新闻曝光后并不影响周星驰的地位，所以这些艺人导演才会选择突然改变口风，以免得罪更多人，毕竟周星驰也不是好惹的，周星驰的支持者也应该不至于太盲目。
反过来说，这件事增加了沉寂已久的星爷的曝光率，也不一定是坏事。

When Feeling Uncomfortable, Laugh.

2009-03-19T15:51:00.002+08:00

I read an interview of Kumar on Straits Times the other day, and he mentioned something about how Singaporeans tend to laugh when they're faced with something that makes them uncomfortable.

It reminded me of a scene in Suspect X (嫌疑犯X的献身), where it was supposed to be the climax of the most dramatic scene, when the culprit started to howl and cry after realising all he had sacrificed will be in vain. The whole theatre was laughing at that time, after some time even I myself started to feel the urge to laugh with them, over such a dramatic scene which is not supposed to be funny at all.

While I was watching Watchmen yesterday, the same thing happened, several times the audience laughed when it was supposed to be a most unsuitable time, mostly terribly violent and bloody moments. I didn't follow suit this time because I really really didn't see what was there to be laughed at, mostly because half the time I was shutting my eyes and squirming over the violent acts in the movie.
I also noticed some people tend to laugh during the not-so-subtle nude and sexual scenes as well.

I supposed Kumar must be a rather keen observer of life, because this point would never have occured to me if he hadn't said it in the papers.

Why do people laugh when they feel uncomfortable? Am I one of them too？

Why do we laugh in the face of violence, sex and desperation?

天下有情人

2009-03-17T12:09:00.006+08:00

作曲：周华健作词：林夕编曲：洪敬尧

爱怎么做怎么错怎么看怎么难怎么教人死生相随
爱是一种不能说只能尝的滋味试过以后不醉不归
等到红颜憔悴它却依然如此完美
等到什么时候我们才能够体会

爱是一朵六月天飘下来的雪花还没结果已经枯萎
爱是一滴擦不干烧不完的眼泪还没凝固已经成灰
等到情丝吐尽它才出现那一回
等到红尘残碎它才让人双宿双飞
啊有谁懂得个中滋味

爱是迷迷糊糊天地初开的时候那已经盛放的玫瑰
爱是踏破红尘望穿秋水只因为爱过的人不说后悔
爱是一生一世一次一次的轮回不管在东南和西北
爱是一段一段一丝一丝的是非教有情人再不能够说再会

-----

最近越来越觉得中文真是一满深奥的学问，整首歌不说，就单那两句：
爱是一朵六月天飘下来的雪花还没结果已经枯萎
爱是一滴擦不干烧不完的眼泪还没凝固已经成灰
我就不相信可以有人把它翻译成其他语言，而又保持同样的典故、意义、美感、押运。
一句大概来自“六月飞霜”，一句来自“蜡炬成灰泪始干”，花和泪又带双重意义，不得不佩服林夕，这才是所谓的才气吧。

撒娇的英文是什么？
遗憾其实不是regrets。

在学这么多的华族历史的同时，我觉得自己单就华文水准而言，好像退步了不少，而且再也抓不回以前“创作”的感觉了。

中文还有这么多这么多我学不会的东西，我却又迫不及待想接触更多的英文和日语了，毕竟每种语言都有其最美的地方，外人只有深入地去学才能够体会吧。

Personality Test from Estel's blog

2009-03-15T16:03:00.004+08:00

The ones highlighted in purple are the most accurate and the most inaccurate answers in this test, while the rest are almost identical to Estel's O.o
-----
Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Galileo the Weirdo

2009-03-13T20:04:00.004+08:00

Fukuyama Masaharu 福山雅治 as Professor Yukawa Manabu 汤川学

受不了了！！！
怎么会有这么有才华的帅哥/这么帅的才子呢？
Is it too late to adopt a religion?
I pray to anyone out there for more Galileo series >.<

Making lists

2009-03-06T18:46:00.009+08:00

I had insomia the other night so I came up with a list of books and movies I've read this year in my head, and it did tremendous wonder for keeping me more awake than ever.

Books:
Poirot-
1)The Mysterious Affair At Styles
2)The Murder On The Links
3)The Murder of Roger Ackroyd
Discworld-
1)The Colour of Magic
2)The Light Fantastic
3)Equal Rites
4)Mort
5)Sourcery
6)Wyrd Sisters
7)Pyramids
Others-
1)Swami and Friends
2)Inkheart
3)Inkspell
4)And Then There Were None
5)Marvel 1602
6)Eternals
7)The Graveyard Book
8)A Fraction of the Whole
9)那些男孩教我的事
10)The Mysterious Mr Quin
11)Tim Burton's The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories
12)侦探伽利略
13)预知梦

Ongoing:
1)Angels and Demons
2)Portrait of a Lady

Movies:
1)Slumdog Millionaire
2)The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
3)Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea
4)赤壁II
5)Inkheart
6)Suspect X
7)Departures

Stage Shows:
宝岛一村

TV Series:
Galileo
Welcome To New York

I have a feeling I must have left something out, and that's precisely the reason why this method of getting yourself to sleep doesnt work. You kind of fry your own brains over your lost memories. I also think I should really read more Chinese books.

过去式

2009-03-02T14:12:00.001+08:00

赌神也有堕落的一天吗？

Benjamin Button

2009-02-16T12:36:00.008+08:00

Cate Blanchett must be a goddess in one of her previous lifetimes, and Brad Pitt can look so freaking beautiful when he wants to.
I cried rather badly mainly during the scenes of Benjamin and his mum, as well as most scenes with Daisy.
I love Tilda Swinton and I always thought she and Cate Blanchett has some similarities that I can't put my finger on.
Somehow I had read somewhere that she's gonna be in the film too, but I conveniently forgot all about it until she came on screen, and it became a very pleasant surprise.
Somehow I forgot Brad Pitt's daughter was the baby in this film as well until after the movie.
Anyhow, I like this movie although it's pretty detached from the audience, there's bits of laughters and lots of tears, but sometimes it seems a little too preachy to me, and the message doesnt really got across.
There's some nice quotes in this show but they're so cliche even a quote fanatic like me didn't bother to remember them.

I love Cate Blanchett sooooo much, she is absofreakinglutely luminous. The gods must be biased when they created her.

Pretty distracted all night, but I did manage to focus while watching the movie and somehow I cried so much it's weird, especially in front of people you don't know so well, but oh heck, maybe because the movie is so long there's just plenty of reasons to cry for. Maybe I needed to moisturise my eyes because I seldom cry for reasons related to real life,
Strangely though, I always feel the need to cry during movies and while reading books when I'm touched, it's my way of showing my appreciation.

Just to be fair to hobbits and my love for middle earth, hobbits have big feet with thick soles.

眷恋，在这一村。

2009-02-09T20:35:00.002+08:00

原本带了一包纸巾以防鼻子敏感发作，没想到全用在擦眼泪了。
原来欢笑与泪水交织就是这个样子的。
不要怀疑，以上的第三张照片就是个包子，剧中那个“天津包子”。虽然本来就知道也许会有这个惊喜设计，但是当得知他们真的把这个设计带来新加坡，还是非常开心。
十分挣扎到底要趁热吃掉还是带回家拍照留念，结果还是忍下来，希望有个纪念，毕竟这辈子是不可能再看第二次了。
可能是自己很少看舞台剧吧，我真的认为这是一个非常非常成功的舞台剧。
我非常非常地喜欢，非常非常感恩自己最终还是选择了去看。戏看了不到半小时，我就为自己的决定感到欣慰，感谢冥冥中的安排，让我看到了这《宝岛一村》，就算赶不上最后的一趟车也是值得的（虽然最后还是赶上了）。
好在哪里呢？我说不上来。演员肯定是好的，虽然十分期待的胡婷婷没有跟团前来新加坡，非常欣赏的宋少卿、郎祖筠、冯翊纲、屈中恒、那维勋和万芳的演出还是让我又哭又笑，完全忘我。传说中的伟忠哥，也算是终于看到他本人了。
很久以前就听过郎姑的节目、听过万芳的歌，到台湾浸濡时上过冯翊纲的课，看过他和宋少卿“相声瓦舍”的表演。从“国光帮帮忙”更熟悉屈中恒、“康熙来了”认识小那那维勋，当然还有时时被挂在众人嘴边的伟忠哥。
在综艺节目上嘻嘻哈哈的人，有这么这么深的才华和内涵，却只有在舞台剧中才能充分展现写出来吧。
眷村的故事，虽然离我很远，可是让人感觉非常的真诚，人与人之间的真实故事，相信是人都会有共鸣的。
一个人看戏，感觉竟然可以这么好。

Doing things by yourself

2009-02-04T18:26:00.003+08:00

I was on the bus to Vivo when 2 gals n a guy were chatting rather loudly about how the 2 gals don't eat alone.
They mentioned how there's a certain stigma about girls eating alone while guys have no such problems, and how they do all they can to avoid eating alone, or at the very least don't let others notice they're eating alone.
I too think it's rather pathetic to eat alone, not because of all the bullshit social stigma and whatsoever, it's simply because it's such a lonely thing to do.
Even so, I eat alone rather often, but I know several girls who prefers not to do so, and some who would rather die than do so.
I had not thought over this issue before, but after thinking it over, I guess I won't feel as bad eating alone from now on. Apparently many others out there are terrified of eating alone, for fear of some imagined perception of strangers.
Unlike the 2 girls, I actually know that I am insignificant, especially in a crowded place like the canteen. No one actually cares if u r eating alone, eating your books, or eating while balanced upside down.
In fact there was a case of someone who died on the train without anyone realising after several hours.
Point is, I think no one should think so highly of themselves and always imagining others to be looking and judging them, and hence do or refrain from doing things for fear of the so called "stigma".
Inspired by this conversation, I went to watch a movie alone for the 1st time in my life that day!
Watching a movie is a mostly private and personal thing, because most people have different thoughts even though they are watching the same thing, unless it's a brainless comedy, in that case the more the merrier.
So actually watching a movie alone is more understandable than eating alone, but I have not done it before. I realise it may be less fun when there's no friends around to laugh with you, or share your feelings of the movie afterwards, but at the same time, there's much more freedom involved. You can laugh and cry and yawn without a care because no one in the cinema knows you anyway.
So what if the ticketing staff, the one sitting next to you and whoever may think to themselves, "what a lonely person to watch a movie alone"?
It's not like it matters, because they're strangers, and you are probably not gonna meet them in the future ever again.
Actually, more likely they won't care or notice you, darling.
It's getting so hard to arrange appointments, gatherings and whatnots, because everyone's so busy and their interests so different, I guess perhaps I can watch more movies alone from now on.

Outsider

2009-01-27T21:35:00.002+08:00

As the years go by,
I am more and more sure that
I am an outsider.
I feel neither proud nor upset about this.
I am merely an onlooker, an outsider,
who is not really involved in anything.
It is not even a matter of want or choice,
it is just so.

Plans

2009-01-18T18:40:00.002+08:00

可能因为假期的时间都在工作，应该专心上学时反而有在放假的感觉。
赤壁当然好看，这么多人呕心沥血，再不好看就太悲哀了。
不带批判的眼光去看自然就好看。

计划看完整套Agatha Christie的Hercule Poirot系列侦探书籍，以及整套Terry Pratchett的Discworld书籍。
计划重新开始记下Cybill里Maryann的经典台词。
计划存钱。

Time to wake up.

From PostSecret

2009-01-11T22:23:00.002+08:00

I think this is perhaps the highest honour one can give to books.
It gets just a lil bit freaky.

Random thoughts...

2009-01-09T19:43:00.002+08:00

When you're in the queue to pay your library book reservation fees, and getting increasing irritated by people who don't know how to operate the machine, and seeing them asking for help from staff who are totally unhelpful, I guess you just can't help but think of something you read somewhere, about how the author hoped that there are other beings in outerspace because he can't believe human beings are the best God can come up with, and that in your mind you believe some people are really not fit to waste earth's resources.

Coincidentally, when it was finally my turn, I realise all 4 books I've reserved have magically been processed and waiting for collection (only 2 when I checked in the afternoon). I wasn't sure whether I should laugh or cry. Even though I'm quite sure I'll finish them very soon, I know deep in my mind that I'll go crazy over the extra slots in reservation and reserve more books, which will be processed with a deadline for me to collect them, which sort of pushes me to return the books I've borrowed even earlier, and hence I've been thrown down the proverbial vicious cycle by my very own hands.

A Good Start...

2009-01-03T17:34:00.005+08:00

I wanted to read more books in 2009...
Now NLB reservation system is my best friend.
However I didn't expect them to be processed at the same time and now I've ended up with 3 thick books to be read within 3 weeks.
Books books pretty pretty hard cover books lining up to be read ~~<3

On another note, if you have a heart and a little bit of fantasy and childhood left in you, it'll be impossible to not find Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea endearing.

Resolutions...

2008-12-31T13:29:00.001+08:00

In 2009, I aim to...

-Always remember the magical period in 2008 when I feel 100% positive and motivated.
-Push my CAP to 4.0 and above.
-Get rid of my insecurities.
-Read more with greater variety.
-Have nicer handwriting.
-Find a balance between myself and my responsibilities.
-Know more about things, may it be religions, countries or people.
-Watch lots of movies.
-Maintain relationships.
-Have a healthy bank account.
-Go for Summer School.
-Expand my Neil Gaiman book collection.
-Buy some PostSecret books or at the very least introduce the website to more people.
-Find out my darkest secret from myself and send it.
-Complete my Maryann Thorpe quotes.
-Be happy for longer periods of time.
-Be mature in age and mentality.
-Be fabulous.

流浪記

2008-12-29T12:59:00.003+08:00

流浪記作詞：Panai　作曲：Panai

我就這樣告別山下的家
我實在不想輕易讓眼淚流下
我以為我並不差　不會害怕
我就這樣自己照顧自己長大

我不想因為現實把頭低下
我以為我並不差　能學會虛假

怎樣才能夠看穿面具裡的謊話
別讓我的真心散的像沙
如果有一天我變得更複雜
還能不能唱出歌聲裡的puy uma

我就這樣告別山下的家
我實在不想輕易讓眼淚流下
我以為我並不差　不會害怕
我就這樣照顧自己長大

我不想因為現實把頭低下
我以為我並不差　能學會虛假

怎樣才能夠看穿面具裡的謊話
別讓我的真心散的像沙
如果有一天我變得更複雜
還能不能唱出歌聲裡的那幅畫

A Different Year

2008-12-24T11:50:00.004+08:00

Somehow this year is a little different from the past years, I do not know the full reason why, but I guess Mamma Mia, Meryl Streep and Christine Baranski, plus my generally depressing fate played a part.

I feel a little more motivated to do something with my life from now on.

My results made me rather happy, I am easily satisfied. I hope this carries on and push me to second upper honours.

I went for a rebond, something I had wanted to do before the end of this year, and I did. The reason why I wanted to do it before the year ends is now no longer valid, but I still feel happy with myself for that decision, although it left me broke and insecured for some time.

I begin to appreciate my friendship with people more, because at the end of the day, only I know who I can count on in times of need. Some friends can be wonderful creatures when you're together, but they do fade away due to time and distance, and there's nothing any of us can do about it.

On one hand I hope I find a Cybill to my Maryann, on the other I know it's almost impossible. I hope I can be happy alone, I think I can be happy alone without feeling lonely.

I aim to go for summer school next year, I think I need the experience. No longer a freshman, don't feel I belonged to NUS either. I want to get away, I hope I can go somewhere.

I want to be better to myself. Sometimes you just need to be selfish, even to those dearest to you. I want to be less insecured, this is really my greatest weakness.

I want to send in a secret.

Life's still good.

Moving House

2008-12-18T12:10:00.003+08:00

Some things can be kept...
Some things have to be thrown away...
搬三次家等于失一次火，从小到大我的东西至少都经过两三次火灾了吧...

How does it feel...

2008-12-12T13:04:00.003+08:00

According to 蔡康永's blog...if one lives until the age of 83, it would only have been 30,000 days.
According to my blog calculator thingy, I have lived for 7000+ days.

Sometimes I would think and think, and I realise one day, in my lifetime,
Christine Baranski, Meryl Streep, Pierce Brosnan, Michelle Yeoh, Sheren Tang, Cate Blanchett, 蔡康永, 倪匡, Eason Chan, Jacky Cheung...
They would die, and I would still be here.

I am constantly saddened by the demise of Anita Mui, Leslie Cheung, Lydia Sum and 黄霑. As time goes by, the same story will repeat itself and I would face news of deaths which, strictly speaking, does not concern me, but yet affects my life.

Doesn't it kill you to know that one day someone you idolise or had idolised for a period of time may die, and you would still be here?
Some terrific human being who affected and helped shape your life will pass away one day, in your lifetime.
And you're still here.

Happy 2008/2009

2008-12-04T00:23:00.006+08:00

I found my old post on the 1st day of this year...
Plans for 2008:

-4th job for dit, 3rd job for cleric and mage.
2/3 done and not impossible

-Get CAP of 3.8 for 2nd semester.
I seriously don't know.

-Increase savings to 2k.
Hahahahahahahahahhaa

-Buy Eason, Aska and Soda Green's albums.
I did buy Aska's, but after verycd.com appeared...
*hides in shame*

-Collect full set of Sandman Comics.
Hahahahahahhaahhaaa

-Maintain friendships whenever possible.
I think I did my best?

-Maintain kinships whenever possible.
I think I did what I can...

-Be a The Body Shop member.
YES!FINALLY!

-Have pretty nails.
I can scratch a car with 'em! Does it count?

-Stay happy and free.
Hahahahahahahhaaa

-Don't go down to the level of murdering others indirectly.
To a certain extent I think I almost did.

-Maintain my 宁缺勿滥 philosophy.
Yes, though not like I was threatened in this area...

-Forget unhappy past and look forward to better days.
Hahahahhahahahaha

Will praying help?

2008-11-27T13:00:00.002+08:00

I would give anything, anything at all, just for it to magically arrive in my mailbox.
ANYTHING.
Oh please please please please please please.......

Think Positive...

2008-11-21T22:57:00.003+08:00

I believe that having a true passion in something will always lead to new knowledge learned.
There is no way I would stop until I've uncovered anything and everything related to that object of obsession, and I always learn something useful during the process of, well, cyber-stalking.

That piece of knowledge always comes in handy in unexpected times.

Like what Neil Gaiman wrote:
There is no wrong way to reach something.
There is no wrong path to a place you need to visit.

I find it comforting to think that while I am procrastinating, doing stuff that I enjoy and pushing back stuff I really, really should do to fulfil my responsibilities,
in fact I am keeping little pieces of threads that will eventually lead me to a place where I really should be.

I am just be lying to myself, I may be in where I am now 10 years onwards, brooding and dwelling in self-pity, but at least for now I feel strangely fulfilled.

R.I.P

2008-11-13T21:00:00.004+08:00

人的生命的确是很脆弱的，不知什么时候，一些悲观的念头就这么闪入脑海，然后就这么冲动的一个决定，便有可能断送一条人命。
一个人自杀之前，有时候一点征兆也没有，一点也看不出来。
当然看不出来。
真正会选择自杀的人，就是不让别人看得出来，才能够成功吧。
为了感情/金钱/赌气而自杀，太不值得。
其实，无论为了什么，都不值得自杀吧。

人真的是非常脆弱的fragile things，有时候自己一个人想着想着，自己就会慢慢说服自己，开始让自己相信活着其实是没有意义的，又或者让自己相信死了就能解决问题。
如果人生是没有今生来世，没有天堂地狱，那么其实自杀也许还真的能够解决自己的痛苦，只不过是把痛苦转换到关心自己的人身上。
如果能够自私一点，让他人承受自己的痛，也许自杀并不这么难，毕竟每个人在人生中肯定都曾经把自己的快乐建筑在他人的痛苦上。

自杀在我看来，是既懦弱又勇敢的举动。
没有活着的勇气，但却有结束生命的勇气。
自杀时需要勇气，因为无论什么方式的自杀都会带来痛楚。
身体上的痛楚，计划自杀的痛苦，暗暗诀别的痛苦。
如果活着能够比这些更痛，那么自杀也许还真的是解脱，
可是，人的一生有多少比自杀前后过程更痛苦的时候呢？

想自杀，方法实在太多了，一个人要是真的有想死的决心，其实是很容易办得到的。
然而，把刀划下、纵身一跳、把火一点、把药一吞的那一霎那，
不知道人生会不会像跑马灯一样在眼前闪过呢？
不知道会不会后悔呢？
我想，很多人之所以没有自杀，
也许只是自私地，
懦弱地，
怕自己会后悔，
而又太迟了。

也许也许，人生还有那么一点点灿烂的风景，是你还没有看到的。
只希望你在那一霎那没有后悔，
then hear the gentle beating of mighty wings,
bearing you away like an old friend.

New Toy

2008-11-05T19:26:00.001+08:00

Obsession

2008-10-22T23:05:00.002+08:00

Christine Baranski is my Oprah.

Quarter-life Crisis

2008-10-17T23:21:00.003+08:00

I shall aim to:

Put in more effort in school work in order to avoid last minute frantic typing in front of the computer or running to and fro RBR to photocopy the book I need for class 30 minutes before the lesson. In this way I assume I can actually save more time for more important stuff like leisure.

Put in more effort in my part time work in SPH so I can get to finish more articles and meet more people to interview, and also to earn more money. I had actually emailed a lecturer because she mentioned she had jobs to recommend students who are interested, dealing with translation stuff in the literati scene and I had a positive reply from her. Sometimes you have to take the initiative in order for your world to operate the way you hope it to be.

Spend my time wisely, and not waste them on pointless waiting. Waiting for people who are late. Waiting for the next bus because I decided not to run for the one which had just left. Waiting for the traffic light because I had decided not to run across the road while the green man is flashing from a distance. I am lazy, but perhaps the time I gain may be worth my effort.

Always carry a book around so I can read whenever I have the chance so as not to waste the time away. I want to get my hands on Auntie Mame, Portrait of A Lady, Howard's End, Alice in Wonderland, Sandman and The Graveyard Book. I also want to carry my quote books around with me while I read so I can continue my habit of writing down the quotes I like.

Be able to hold my liquor, keep some alcohol at home and drink a little whenever I like. Learn how to make a gimlet.

Keep my hair long enough, go for a rebond and a haircut plus colour. Get a tattoo of an ankh at the back of my neck.

Go for make-up lessons.

Continue drawing.

Be more Maryann. Step by step, darling.

I am confused

2008-10-13T22:14:00.002+08:00

I judge what I like or don't like or indifferent immediately upon the 1st interaction. However, there's the 4th category of confusion.

People and things I used to like or hate, and now they have slipped into a neither love nor hate nor indifference stage. They confuse me.

So there:

What do you gain out of doing such things? It was too deliberate it makes me sick.
Then again maybe I questioned you out of jealousy on my part, because I certainly don't have the intellectual capacity nor linguistic talent, and not the slightest inclination to do such things ever so often.
I am so confused because of how different some people can be from others, in a way that's totally incomprehensible to either parties I guess.
Don't try so hard...because I'm quite sure I'm not the only one who thinks that way...and I think while opening up new paths, you are blocking the old ones.We can't reach you and vice versa.

and this:

I am so disappointed in you. I hope you remember that at the end of the day the only thing you can't get rid of is your bloodline. If one day you were in the same predicament as she is, as we are, what would you expect us to do? You know what? I think we will help you LIKE WE ALWAYS DO IF WE CAN. Shame on you. I am so disappointed in you and I want myself to remember this incident out of the many many which I have chosen to forget because I am no longer the same person I was. I realised that sometimes you just need to remind yourself of the anger and humiliation to make your own heart turn into stone in order not to get hurt easily again.

Thank you for the music

2008-10-03T22:33:00.003+08:00

I wish my commandment of language was better, so I could describe my complex feelings in words, no matter english or chinese.

It seems so hard to explain how I feel when it comes to music, I think it's the greatest gift that the gods or whoever had blessed us with.

I wish I could write down why I smiled to myself in a silly way when I hear Does Your Mother Know or Mamma Mia or All Things Bright And Beautiful and Tree Hugger.

I wish I could tell people why I tap my fingers to the beat whenever I hear 没时间 or Dancing Queen or any songs that I like, sometimes even subconsciously.

And I wish I could stop myself from feeling bitter and upset whenever I hear Slipping Through My Fingers or The Winner Takes It All or 海阔天空 or 女人花 or 最佳损友.

It's not just because I've been listening to a lot of Mamma Mia songs lately, it's been this way for far too long and I feel thankful everytime I hear a wonderful song for the emotions it brings me, especially joyful ones. Problem is, sometimes I don't know who to direct my gratitude to. It's not just the singers, nor just the composers or lyricists, but add them up and you get a touching piece of art.

I still feel sad for the demise of 黄霑 because I know there would be no more wonderful music from him anymore, but that doesn't mean the end of songs that can touch me. Sometimes the songs mean even greater to me than those who created it, and it's a very magical thing.

So many touching songs, and so many trashy ones, nevertheless I am constantly amazed at this thing called music, although sometimes I hope I am not so dependent on it.

Mamma Mia!

2008-09-24T20:52:00.005+08:00

If I could share the joy that I got from watching Mamma Mia! The Movie with the less happy around me, I may very likely be too selfish to share, because it's just so special to me.I would rather keep this insanely huge amount of happiness and spread it over my sometimes unhappy and disgrunted life.
Yes, Pierce Brosnan is in there, obviously it wins me over instantly.
However this movie gave much more than just superb 1st-class, drool-worthy eye-candy, it's just so special I don't know how to explain.

Meryl Streep is magnificent, what I wouldn't give to have just a little of her in me, the energy, the attitude, the emotions. If I live to 58, what would I become? I know I can;t even be close to Meryl Streep, and she makes me feel, very rarely, that there are terrific actors/actresses in real life who can change and affect a person's mood and even life, just by putting in effort and sincerity in their job. She lights up the screen and even in such a light-hearted film, can touch me so much in Slipping Through My Fingers and The Winner Takes It All, that I can't stop tearing.
Christine Baranski is wonderful too! I loved her in Does Your Mother Know and she really can sing quite well. The trio of Donna and the Dynamos had this perfect girl-friends relationship I wish I can have, and they are very, very entertaining.
So energetic, so alive.

Pierce Brosnan, if you listen over and over like me, you may find his voice to be actually quite okay. I am shamelessly biased when it comes to Pierce Brosnan, and I love him to bits, and I think he is very close to the Perfect Man Alive, and so anyone who don't like him/prefers Daniel Craig, please don't tell me in order to keep our relationship intact.

Critics have been talking about how him and Meryl can't sing to save their lives blah blah blah...but at the end of the day they are great actors and actresses, not singers. They brought life to this movie and to me, they did the song numbers quite well. If you watch this movie just to listen to the songs and check the pitch...just get an ABBA album. Imagine my disappointment when I saw in FiRST movie mag that Mamma Mia! only got 2 star and a mini review, it makes me feel that the reviewer didn't even really sat down and watched this film at all.

Even now, days after I've watched the movie, I feel a surge of happiness when I hear the songs from the movie in my mp3. It's very similar to the feeling whenever I hear Hairspray and Juno songs, music is a very magical thing, and somehow Mamma Mia! is just that bit more magical and special. Somehow it chases away whatever negative feeling I have into a deep corner of my heart and I forget everything momentarily.

Insanely, this movie made me wish I was young and sweet and seventeen, that I can actually dance and sing and enjoy being alive.

Not the same...

2008-09-19T14:39:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i think everything that's happening is a big mistake and everyone decided to ignore it because it's so big such that no one will be able to do a thing about it.

So we pretend it's alright and as the days go by we actually managed to believe in our pretense and cheat ourselves to think that actually everything is alright.

We're all mistakes, we can all be better than what we are and do better than what we do, but no, we cannot.

Something is changing again, the same cycle over and over.

Yes I am starting to become bored easily and lose my attention faster and faster again.

Once in a while history repeats itself, and I feel tired of my life.

Just an outsider, no difference will be made.

Not dead

2008-09-09T15:53:00.002+08:00

Just almost...
and I realise losing my phone is the most eventful thing that happened to me for the past 9 months.
Thing is...I cannot say its because of the many many pieces of luggage or the terrible crowd, it all boils down to my own carelessness and it could have be prevented.
So actually it's all my fault, and the good thing with blaming myself is that I forgive myself very easily.
I love myself too much to be tough on myself...so sometimes its easier to just carry all the blame and burden on my own shoulders.
I think its a psychology thing....I can psycho myself very easily into believing everything's alright, that what happened happened and could not have happened any other way, given who I am and what situation I was in.
Then again if I know the reason now everything seems ok is because I lied to myself, doesnt it mean I wasn't convincing enough?

One Piece!

2008-08-26T22:59:00.020+08:00

The head piece of The Thousand Sunny with Luffy at the helm...though not very obvious...
You can actually shoot a spear from Sunny's mouth, and open or close the mouth by moving the sunray thingy XD

Part 2: Chopper and mini Going Merry...cuteness all over the place!
I need to stress how detailed this set of figurines are...with the barrels and boxes all separate pieces just to show the real thing inside the manga and anime!

Part 3: Sanji and Zoro on the deck...
I can actually open the top thing n throw a character inside! The interior of the dining room has chairs and tables, and the flags can be rowed up or put down as you please too!

Part 4: Franky and Usopp inside the ship...
The figurine set comes with mini Going Merry and the Sharkie and the Skypeia vehicle! Those Japs are such crazy perfectionist, gotta love them for that!

Part 5: Nami and Robin in the Aquarium area. I kinda destroyed the sticker T.T not very obvious but it broke my heart...
Then again you can open up the top thingy to reveal a room with a bed! Very cute.

Join them up and u get a Mugiwara Pirates' The Thousand Sunny pirate ship!
Why is OnePiece so damn addictive?
I have absolutely no idea...but really thanks Liyan for buying them for me XD
Absolutely made my day...

I wish someday when I wake up in the morning...I'll realise I'm on board this ship and chasing my dream like everyone in the crew.

你我皆凡人

2008-08-13T12:18:00.003+08:00

凡人歌 - 词/曲：李宗盛

你我皆凡人生在人世间
终日奔波苦一刻不得闲
既然不是仙难免有杂念
道义放两旁利字摆中间

多少男子汉一怒为红颜
多少同林鸟已成分飞燕
人生何其短何必苦苦恋
爱人不见了向谁去喊冤

问你何时曾看见这世界为了人们改变
有了梦寐以求的容颜是否就算是拥有春天